Don t forget the April meeting is on a week early this

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1 PO Box 131 Cardiff NSW President Simon Clarke phone Secretary Lynne Fitzpatrick ph Treasurer Les Paterson phone Committee Brian Fitzpatrick ph Bob Croft phone Wally Thurgood phone Gear Shop Judy Booyse phone Don t forget the April meeting is on a week early this month, on the 6th. Unfortunately I will not be there as I have to be somewhere else. The rides last month were to Brooklyn, midweek ride to Broke and a coffee morning at Wallsend diggers. Then there was the Poker run. Congratulations to Bob and Wally for their hard work as everything went off well, with lots of good prizes, and a great ride. The weather was excellent as was the support. Everyone seemed to enjoy the day. The raffle was won by Al Ford from Port Stephens, well done Al. The Speedway Grand Prix has started with the New Zealand meeting, two Aussies in the top seven, good racing and good weather. All of you that are going to Maryborough for the AGM have a safe trip and be sure to enjoy yourselves. Come back and share your experience with those that didn t make it. Looking forward to seeing you all there. Stay safe Simon Branch Social Meeting 7pm, 2nd Saturday of the Month Edgeworth Bowling Club 6pm for Dinner Rides from 8.30 am unless otherwise stated. Have you changed your address? Don t forget to let the Branch Secretary know your new address so you can continue to receive s from the Branch. Newsletter photos and reports Please send contributions for the Newsletter by . We need them no later than 14 days prior to the next social Meeting. newcastlelowerhunter.ulyssesclub.org Member s for sale ads and if you wish to update your details on the members page of the Branch website, contact the webmaster, John Beddoe at : johnbeddoe@westnet.com.au

2 We would like to remind our members that all official Branch rides and events are posted in our ride calendar and, unless otherwise stated, all rides leave from Hexham McDonalds from 8.30 am Saturday April 6th From: Your place to Edgeworth Bowling Club Branch social meeting 7pm Sunday April 7th Bare Foot Bowls Challenge Soldiers Point Bowling Club Sunday April 14th Monday April 15th to Sunday 21st If you aren t going to the AGM, Meet at Hexham MacDonald s ride to Merriwa via Broke & Denman. A great week at the National AGM Maryborough Ride leader, Wally Thurgood Sunday April 21st Coffee Morning, Wickham motorcycle Café Arrive around 10am Sunday April 28th. Ride to Forster Ride leader, Les Paterson Saturday May 11th From: Your place to Edgeworth Bowling Club Branch social meeting 7pm Christmas in July 6th. and 7th. July 2013 A joint Port Stephens and Newcastle Lower Hunter weekend away to Forster NSW The venue is: Island Palms Motor Inn, 115 The Lakes Way, Forster. Ph The motel is opposite the Forster shopping centre. If you would like to join us on this weekend you need to book directly with the motel. Please mention that you are part of the Ulysses booking. The cost for our stay is $93.00 per person based on a twin share basis. There is a $35 00 single supplement. $93.00 includes accommodation, dinner and breakfast. Maximum of 60 people in the restaurant for dinner, so first in, best dressed. Hope you can join us for this weekend. The Bare Foot Bowls Challenge at Port Stephens I know you guys (Newcastle Lower Hunter) can t win at cricket!! How about a barefoot bowls challenge? See our ride calendar for details, Could be a fun night and maybe an annual event. Leo Who is prepared to take on Port Stephens in a game of lawn bowls? They have challenged us to meet them for a social evening. Bare Foot Bowls at the Solders Point Bowling Club on Sunday 7th April. 3:00 p.m. start. The game will last approx. two and a half hours and we might have tea at the club after. Cost is $10.00 per head.

3 Midweek GOING ride, FOR Wednesday BROKE March 13. AND LUNCH AT BULGA Nine or was it ten? bikes met at Hexham Maccas for a 9.30 am start. Ken Taylor was our designated leader so he kindly explained where we were going, mainly for Roy, who often meanders a little off course. Away we went via the roundabout at the end of the F3 through to Kurri, Sawyers Gully, Keinbah and on to Lovedale where we stopped for morning tea at the Wine Country information centre. It was there that we became at least 10 (?) as Jennifer had ridden up to join us. A pleasant ride through the vineyards onto Broke Road to yep you guessed it, Broke. Over the new bridge, doesn t rattle any more! Through Milbrodale, great bit of riding road, to the Putty Road and right towards Singleton and the Bulga Pub. We all thankfully, pulled into the car park it was hot and we were ready for a beer! (Thirteen bikes in Bulga Pub carpark?- who s counting?) It was then that we saw the Closed sign on the door. We were 5 minutes early but they opened straight away at 11.55, instead of 12 noon. Lots of pleasant conversation Coffee stop at the information centre. Young Brownie checks out his share portfolio while awaiting his bangers and mash. ensued along with Bulgaing hamburgers, I had crumbed sausages just to be different and they were great too. From there the talk was back through Elderslie and Maitland Vale. Ken being a more recent escapee from Sydney was not quite sure about the route so Brownie took over the lead. On the other side of Singleton I started to doubt my own knowledge, when the T junction to turn right to Elderslie took a long time to happen, but we got there eventually and a very pleasant, mostly trafficless ride back to Bolwarra. Down to the new roundabout and left along Pitnacree Road and over the new Hunter River bridge, before some of us stopping at the bakery café at the bottom of the hill past Green Hills. Pete Hill left early from Bulga having get back and attend to some paperwork, Jennifer had to return home via Cessnock, Big Steve left us at Bolwarra easy home to Kurri. Roy and a couple of others continued on home and four of us stopped at the bakery café, at the bottom of the hill past Green Hills. Came the end of a perfect day. Our thanks go to Ken Taylor for the organising. Cheers Ken! Anybody with an idea for a Wednesday ride, call Ken or anyone on the committee. C.U. Young Brownie Wednesday, March 13th. Below: Garry, first off the grid from the Bulga Hotel.

4 Picnic ride to McKell Park Brooklyn It was a lovely morning and the McDonalds car park at Hexham was surprisingly empty, but seven bikes carrying the select band of eight intrepid people left only a little late. Accompanying us were Terry and Carol who were visiting from Lake Macquarie branch and our own members John with Helen (again on her own bike) Mark, Brian, Jose and John. Things went well for a few kilometers until we reached Buchanan where most turned left from John Renshaw Drive onto George Booth Drive. Terry, displaying a somewhat understandable lack of faith in the navigation skills of the novice ride leader went straight ahead at the roundabout. We caught up with Terry and Carol again at Wollombi. The rest of us went the back way to through Mulbring and Paxton. With the group re-united at Laguna, we stopped for coffee etc. Brian had a better offer for the afternoon, so left us as we continued on our way to Central Mangrove. Due to the size of the group, we used the time honoured method of regrouping before each turn off instead of using corner marshals. This seemed to work reasonably well (for a while anyway). Lake Macquarie members Terry and Carol had their prepared lunch in the park before joining the others in the café. Traffic was reasonably light and the weather was pleasant as we worked our way to Calga and took the Old Pacific Highway towards Brooklyn. There were the usual collection of leather suited boy racers overtaking us between Calga and Brooklyn. Terry and Carol were waiting for us just out of Brooklyn. They had got onto the freeway at some point and arrived before the rest of the group. Mark excused himself at Brooklyn and returned to Newcastle as he had planned. The rest of us proceeded to McKell Park. On arrival a friendly local told us the café s were back past the pub. Parking near the café was difficult for cars, but we found a small recreation park which already had a lot of bikes parked in it. That was good enough for us. Terry and Carol had brought there lunch with them, but they were the only ones who had. We all enjoyed lunch complete with a nice view of the Hawkesbury River and the railway station. We even saw a train pulled by a steam engine whilst we were there. They were cheating though, the last carriage was a diesel engine. Terry and Carol made there farewells and went back along the expressway. They couldn t resist suggesting we talk to Simon about the small size of the group. The rest of us went back through Peats Ridge and Wollombi. John Lind 20th. Robyn Pratt 18th. Jennifer Rosewood John tries unsuccessfully to avoid being photographed in the café. Garry and Sue Hughes Shane and Robyn Pratt Kathy Parker Inside Windows Furnishings Ph Fax John Beddoe Gold Financial (Financial Planning) Kerry McLeish Herron Todd White Independent Property Advisors Ph Peter & Michelle Hunter Landscaping, Thornton Thurlow Kawasaki Cessnock Maitland Motorcycles Newcastle Motor Cycles Brisan Motor Cycles Kawasaki Newcastle Suzuki of Newcastle Graeme Morris Motor Cycles

5 Newcastle Lower Hunter Branch At The Poker Run sign on desk, Major Bob Croft registers players, deals out the hands and provides the run directions to the riders lining up Ulysses Poker Run The weather turned out perfect for our annual Poker Run with around 50 or so bikes starting out from Hexham McDonalds. Hands were sold from 8.30am with many there early and eager to get on the road and follow the directions carefully prepared by Bob and Wally down to the last 100 metres. After winding our way through Raymond Terrace, Hinton and Paterson our first stop was at Vacy where Les and Kerry were set up outside the pub. It was then onto Clarence Town with Mike and Ken sitting on the verandah of the Cottage Cafe. Who remembered to look for the point of interest between Vacy and Clarence Town? The $25 gift voucher prize was won by Brian Fitzpatrick. Many enjoyed morning tea at the cafe before heading to the next stop, The Holmesville Hotel. We caught up with a few other bikes along the way and followed along behind them taking a slightly different route than on our directions. There was quite a crowd at Holmesville Hotel when we arrived, enjoying a cool drink and collecting their second last card from Kathy and Jennifer before the short trek to Edgeworth Bowling Club to collect the last card. Many tried to improve their hands and purchased additional cards in an effort to win one of the 49 prizes that had been generously donated by businesses and our members. Congratulations to John Rowles who was the first of many winners with their poker hands. And, congratulations also to our raffle prize winners, Al Ford (first and second prize) and John Rowles (third prize). It was great to see members of other local Branches join in and support us on the day and take away many prizes. With the funds raised from the sale of the cards and the raffle tickets sold, we raised over $1,000 on the day which will be donated to UCARF and the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service. A very big thank you to Bob Croft and Wally Thurgood for organising the day and spending countless hours sourcing the prizes and planning the route for our ride to make the day such a success. Thank you everyone for helping us support two worthy organisations, we hope you had a great day. Lynne NEWCASTLE LOWER HUNTER ULYSSES BRANCH WISHES TO THANK THE FOLLOWING BUSINESSES WHO GENEROUSLY SUPPORTERED OUR 2013 POKER RUN AUTOBARN: Unit 4/ Hillsborough Road, Warners Bay NSW Phone: AUTO PRO: 702 Main Road, EdgeworthNSW Phone: BRISAN MOTORCYCLES: 250 Maitland Road, Islington NSW Phone: Fax: BUNNINGS WAREHOUSE: 15 Stockland Drive, Glendale. Phone: CC LEATHER RIDER: 1139 Pacific Highway, Lake Munmorah NSW 2259 (Caltex Service Station). Phone: CHRIS WATSON MOTORCYCLES: 279 Maitland Road, Cessnock NSW Phone: Fax: FARMERS HOTEL: 792 Gresford Road, Vacy NSW Phone: GRAEME MORRIS MOTORCYCLES: 4 Cameron Street, Broadmeadow NSW Phone: Fax: HOLMSVILLE HOTEL: 21 George Street, Holmsville NSW Phone: KAWASAKI NEWCASTLE: 5 Lang Road, Broadmeadow NSW Phone: MAITLAND MOTORCYCLES: 339 High Street, Maitland NSW Phone: Fax: NEWCASTLE HARNESS RACING CLUB: Jackson Street, Broadmeadow NSW Phone: NEWCASTLE MOTORCYCLE DOCTOR: 53 Hudson Street, Hamilton, NSW Phone: Fax: REEDS BY THE CREEK RESTAURANT: 1a Park Street, Edgeworth NSW Phone: STRATCO: 2 Hartley Drive, Thornton NSW Phone: Fax: SUZUKI OF NEWCASTLE: 90 Lambton Road, BroadmeadowNSW Phone: Fax: HERON TODD WHITE INDEPENDENT PROPERTY ADVISORS: PO Box 1731 Newcastle NSW 2300, Phone

6 April Fools H E L L... as explained by a chemistry student The ULYSSES Club Inc. AGM Event April Queensland s Fraser Coast, site of the unique Fraser Island and the start of the Great Barrier Reef. Still time to register To remind our members it is still not too late to register for the AGM Event in Maryborough and the good news is the floods earlier this year have in no way affected the grounds and all is now back to normal. The Tinned Food & Blanket Run The Run is being held on 28 April 2013 For any Ulysses members that may like to participate, the Tinned Food & Blanket Run will leave from the Regional Markets, Rural Drive, Sandgate at 9.30am for a mystery ride. Donations of non-perishable foods and good clean blankets can be made on the day. BIKE GEAR FOR SALE - all in very good condition l Rivet Razor Airflow Winter Coat - size L l Rivet Airtex Summer Body Armour Jacket - size XL l RJays Trousers Zip out lining - size 36 l Pair Schoeller Keprotec Winter Gloves - size M l Venture Bike Pack system (extendable) fits over sissy bar l Draggin Jeans Kevlar - size 36 short l Thomas Cook summer jeans fleecy lined - size 34 l Suomy helmet large 59/60 with clear and dark sunvisors full faced never dropped l Pair of rain off glove covers - size L l Rain pants - size L l Rain cover for cruiser seat l Pair fingerless gloves - size L l Pair Rivet gloves knuckle protectors - size XL l Motodry rain coat - size L Phone Alan on for more information. The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry midterm exam, and the answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it also. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting Oh my God. Reportedly, this student received an A+ I was driving this morning when I saw an NRMA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy s heading for a breakdown. Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not Happy.