Celebrating Ten Years of Quality Nonsense and a few Einsteins

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Rafe Curtis
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WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 October 20, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the

Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed sharp or even sarcastic are mine and do not reflect the City of Sandy Springs nor the

This writing may contain spelling and / or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling and you, should not make

He was told a man was down, not conscious, and not breathing.

2 WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 October 20, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed sharp or even sarcastic are mine and do not reflect the City of Sandy Springs nor the SSPD nor anyone associated with SSPD nor anyone living within two square miles, as the crow flies, of SSPD. This writing may contain spelling and / or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling and you, should not make fun of HEADLINE A patrol officer responded to a medical call at a construction site on Johnson Ferry Road. He was told a man was down, not conscious, and not breathing. He retrieved his AED device from his patrol car and ran to the location where he applied the AED pads to the man and delivered the shock, then began chest compressions. The man began breathing and began to move around. Luckily, the location was across from Northside Hospital. The patient was transported by EMS. The officer is up for a life-saving award. Nice job.

3 Crime and Punishment for This Week Burglary 5000 block Mt. Vernon Pkwy / The complainant said someone removed an unattached Sundown Audio System from his carport. He valued the loss at $6000 and told the officer the system weighed around 500 pounds. 300 block Carpenter Drive / An apartment resident said someone came into his residence and took a 55-inch TV and his Samsung Galaxy 8, as well as his Amazon Fire Tablet. Entry point looks to have been a window. 295 Mt. Vernon Hwy / The manager of the Chevron said someone chisled a hole in the wall and entered his store where (he or they) broke into the video machines and damaged other items. The store video shows the suspect breaking in at 3 a.m. He is a black male, short black hair, blue bandana covering his face. He wore a grey button-up shirt, jeans, and brown construction boots, blue gloves and a book bag. The store owner said about $5,000 in cash was taken from the machines. He also reported the damage to be over $10, block Spring Creek Lane / Between 9:30 and 10 a.m., someone entered the apartment and took a 46-inch TV. No forced entry was found.

4 Theft 145 Northwood Drive / A 36-year old man said he made an electronic deposit by taking a photo of his paycheck and sending it via mobile app. The bank told him someone had cashed the check he photographed. He told officers that he left the check on the night stand and there were several people in and out of his apartment after he photographed the check Perimeter Center West / (La Madeleine Restaurant) Witnesses said that just before 10 p.m., a woman came into the restaurant and walked behind the counter where she opened the register, via touchscreen, and looked in it. Apparently the money had already been cleared, so she walked to another register, did the same thing. The witnesses, employees, said they thought it was a joke and did nothing to stop her. Another employee said she thought nothing of it until the woman hastily exited the restaurant. The manager caught wind of what was happening and followed the suspect outside where she saw the suspect and a male, get into a car and drive away. She followed them but lost sight of them just inside Dunwoody City Limits. The manager recognized the car as that belonging to one of the employees. She told cops that she thinks the car belongs to an employee, the female suspect, who has worked at the restaurant since March block Roswell Road / (Subway) The owner of the store said that around 2:45 p.m., a man described as a white male, 30 s, bald, wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, stole the tip jar, containing $22, and then ran out Roswell Road / (Goodwill) A 44-year old woman reported someone stole her purse from her shopping cart, sometime around 8:30 p.m PDR / (St. Joeseph) A patient said he was moved from one room to another. During that time, someone stole his wallet. An employee found the wallet, minus three $50 bills, in the trash can.

5 6000 block Roswell Road / A 32-year old woman reported her roommate stole items from her apartment while moving out. The whole thing started when the roommate was confronted about her boyfriend staying over multiple times, without contributing to rent. She told her to knock it off or move out. Missing is a 42-inch TV, a 55-inch TV, purses, shoes, and clothing. Thefts from Vehicles 6300 block Roswell Rd /12 Swiss bookbag Glenlake Pkwy /12 Nothing taken (2 male suspects) 900 block Brandywine Cir /13 (Unlocked) Wallet, phone taken 5800 block Roswell Rd /13 Galaxy 8 phone and bookbag 5600 Roswell Road /13 Dell laptop, book bag 6700 Powers Ferry Rd /14 Backpack and misc paperwork 1165 Perimeter Center W /14 (REI,) Wallet, DL, credit cards, $56 cash 1155 Mt. Vernon Hwy /15 Credit cards and $500 cash 346 Carpenter Drive /16 Gun 900 block Marsh Trail /16 Keys and access card 200 block W Spalding Dr /17 Not listed (Unlocked) Other Things A 45-year old man said his brother used his identity during a January traffic stop in Sandy Springs. He (obviously) did not show in court. An FTA warrant was issued and the victim was taken into custody. Once he brought the attention to the court, the video was reviewed and it was clear that the man arrested was not the driver that day. Summerbrook Drive /12 The complainant said she saw a black male, about six feet tall and slender, peeping inside her window more than once around 10:30 p.m. Neighbors have seen him as well. They tried to confront the man but he fled. They located a window screen that had been removed from the bedroom window.

6 7878 Roswell Road / A 50-year old woman reported she was blocked in her parking spot at an office park, by a truck. She asked the driver if he would move. She said a man exited a nearby office and began addressing her in a threatening manner, telling her the vehicle would not be moved and she would have to wait. She said the man threatened her, telling her I m going to make sure you are not seen again. She recorded some of the incident on her phone, videoing the subject yelling and cursing at her. He left in a tan Mercedes. The tag was obtained. The photo of the registered owner and the suspect matched. Warrants are being issued for the man s arrest block Roswell Road / A 22-year old woman said she met a man named Dez on a Marta bus two weeks ago. She said she met him at the CVS parking lot where they had sexual interactions and smoked some weed in his car. After the weed-infested sexual interactions, he got out and went into the CVS. She followed, but left her purse in his car. He exited before her and drove off, leaving her purse in the parking lot. She reported that her iphone was in the car. She knows nothing about Dez other than she smokes weed and interacts with him, but as far as tracking him, she had nothing block of Highpoint Road / Cops were called on a noise complaint, filed by the security employee of the Beth Tefillah Chabad of GA, who said her singing creates such noise that it disrupts the services inside the temple. Many of you reading this are familiar with her as we have had numerous calls in the past. She refuses to speak, but only sings at the top of her lungs. She informed the officer, using hand gestures, that she would be there twenty minutes. In the past, as in this case, there have been several complainants, mostly neighbors, who complain about the noise, often described as sceaming and howling, opposed to singing, that disrupts the normal conditions of the neighborhood. She was cited for the nosie complaint. A 53-year old woman reported she broke up with her boyfriend in March however he refuses to accept it and, as a result, has been calling, (66 times,) and texting, (30 times.) He came to her residence and has attempted to get inside the patio area but was unsuccessful. She said he drives through the apartment complex which keeps her in fear of going out. Okay, this part is offered as a PSA. Guys, stop making fools of us all by this ridiculous behavior. We get dumped occasionally. (Well, I ve never been dumped, but I don t want to brag. After all, this isn t about me.) Man up! Take it and move on. No woman has ever been stalked by an ex-whatever and said Gee, his insatiable texting and calling, not to mention the actual physical stalking of me, has made me realize that I love him even more. No! That isn t going to happen. Jeez! It s football season. Use it as a distraction and get over it. You re welcome.

7 Tahoma Drive / A patrol officer was dispatched to the cul-de-sac after a call that described a car circling it. The officer found the car, lights out, parked along the curb. He saw the driver duck down in what was obviously an attempt to hide. The officer put the spotlight on the car and driver and issued very loud, clear orders to show his hands. The man sat up but did not show his hands. The order was repeated. The officer noted the man alternated showing his hands. The man finally exited the car as instructed. The man told the officer he met a man on the dating app Grinder, and was waiting for him to come out to the car. The man also admitted to the officer he had no pants on, which is why he was reaching down with his hands. Well, dating app called Grinder and no pants? In the burbs. no less? And you guys thought suburbia was all picket fences and Peeping Toms. Good times. Arrests The manager of the Rite Aid at 1100 Hammond called police regarding a man, known to the manager as a shoplifter, loitering at the wine aisle. She saw that he had something in his pocket and attempted to detain him. He absconded from the store, north on PDR. The officer viewed a photo of the man, then located him a short time later, near a transformer located near the Hilton. The transformer is out of view from the street and homeless persons frequently bed down there. The officer knew of the location and found the man with the wine, lying down. He was arrested Roswell Road, at Carpenter Drive / A patrol officer received a call of a man pleasing himself with exposed genitals near the wine store area Marta stop. He found the man who hastily tried to zip up. He was arrested Roswell Road / Following a shoplifting call at Whole Foods, a patrol officer located the suspect across the way at the Chevron Station. He was arrested. The stolen items consisted of a 12-pack of beer, 2 pizza slices and a hot bar food item, totaling just over $50. $50? Must be some good pizza.

GA 400/Hammond Dr 30328 10/15 13886-Just after 11 p.m., a patrol officer stopped two men in a Jeep for a lane violation.

8 GA 400/Hammond Dr / Just after 11 p.m., a patrol officer stopped two men in a Jeep for a lane violation. The tag on the Jeep showed the vehicle was reported stolen from Atlanta some two hours earlier. Neither man had ID on them but had compelling stories leading up to the arrest. The driver said he met the passenger in Dunwoody and was helping move his belongings to Cheshire Bridge Road. The passenger was originally driving but asked the other guy to drive instead. According to the now passenger, the car was his sugar daddy s, and he was given time to make payments on it with cash or crack cocaine. (Seems reasonable.) The officer wanted to check for drugs and so asked permission, which was granted. He found drugs that neither man claimed. Both were charged with the crack cocaine and related items as well as the stolen Jeep. The app Grinder was not involved. 500 block Northridge Drive / Our story begins with a plot that includes sexually transmitted diseases (STD) as well as a case of infidelity. Officers responded to an apartment regarding a domestic quarrel. On arrival, they found two women and a man, who had a visible injury to his head. One of the women, (the caller,) said she was the current girlfriend of the man and has learned he was cheating with another woman, incidentally, was also present at the scene. (Awkward.) Both women joined forces to confront the man about their STD symptoms both were experiencing. They all got into a car to talk. At some point the man made threats to punch one of the women in the face. He exited the car s front seat and re-entered the back seat, causing the other woman to run from the car. Somewhere along the line, the man got tattooed on the head by a flashlight, courtesy of the woman he was chasing from the car. He said she hit him while all three were still in the car. During the contact with the three, the officer noted the man s continued aggression towards the two women. As a result, he was arrested for Disorderly Conduct after a trip to the ER on that head thing. ME thinks this is just the beginning of his problems. SO, WHAT ELSE HAPPENED? A guys stole some beer at Rite-Aid. A couple of phones were stolen after folks accidentally left them at a store. A man reported he was ripped off on a gold coin deal. An ex-employee swiped some cash from the register at the 5300 blk Roswell Road Waffle House. The vice unit arrested a hooker on Barfield Road following an internet solicitation.

A man was arrested at 1100 Hammond Drive after it appeared he was checking door handles. The always-weekly theft at LA Fitness at 6690 Roswell Road.

9 A man was arrested at 1100 Hammond Drive after it appeared he was checking door handles. The always-weekly theft at LA Fitness at 6690 Roswell Road. And, at least a dozen knuckleheads arrested with misdemeanor amounts of weed, while driving around. Stoned and Stupid! EINSTEINS OF THE WEEK Courtesy of Chuck Shepherd s News of the Weird Police in Cumbria County, England, responded on Sept. 23 to a call for help from 3,210-foot Scafell Pike (England's highest mountain), where four men ran into trouble while hiking. However, their problems didn't stem from dehydration or a painful fall. Instead, it seems the group had become "incapable of walking due to cannabis use," police told The Guardian. A police spokesperson wrote on Facebook: "Now having to deploy rescue, air support and ambulance to rescue them. Words fail us..." Cumbria police superintendent Justin Bibby reminded hikers that "alcohol or any other substance that could impair your judgment... has no place on a mountain." [The Guardian, 9/24/2017] Timothy Bates, 37, of Collierville, Tennessee, was arrested on Sept. 24 by the Secret Service after being observed urinating at the corner of 17th and Pennsylvania Avenue NW, near the White House in Washington, D.C. WTOP-FM reported that Bates explained to the officers that he was headed to the White House, where he hoped to meet with National Security Agency Director Adm. Mike Rogers and Defense Secretary Gen. James Mattis to find out "how to get the dog chip out of my head." He explained that he is part of the MK Ultra project, managed by the CIA, and had chips implanted in his head that cause headaches, shaking and convulsions. Bates also told officers he had weapons in his car, which amounted to nine firearms, brass knuckles, a black jack and three knives. A former Memphis police officer, Bates has been involuntarily committed twice this year for mental health reasons. [WTOP-FM, 9/25/2017] Have a good weekend out there..

A COLLECTION OF INCIDENTS, SOME ARRESTS, SOME CRIME TIPS, AND A FEW KNUCKLEHEADS

A COLLECTION OF INCIDENTS, SOME ARRESTS, SOME CRIME TIPS, AND A FEW KNUCKLEHEADS WEEKLY WRAP UP 2018 July 26, 2018 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed snarky