Celebrating Ten Years of Quality Nonsense and a few Einsteins

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Blaze Foster
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WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 September 21, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so.

living within two square miles, as the crow flies, of SSPD.

@captainrose On 9/18, just after noon, cops responded to Clipper Trail where a mob of goats had gathered.

2 WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 September 21, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed sharp or even sarcastic are mine and do not reflect the City of Sandy Springs nor the SSPD nor anyone associated with SSPD nor anyone living within two square miles, as the crow flies, of SSPD. This writing may contain spelling and / or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling and you, should not make fun of On 9/18, just after noon, cops responded to Clipper Trail where a mob of goats had gathered. The goats, part of Get Your Goats rentals, apparently rebelled and absconded from the trailer and owner. It appeared as if they were staging to riot to possibly tear down confederate statues until they saw some righteous grass in the yard of on Clipper Trail after being hearded by the officer and goat keeper. Sandy Springs Festival is this weekend. This year it is free admission. SSPD will have a table set up with giveaways. See you guys there.

3 Crime and Punishment for This Week Robbery 500 block Summer Crossing / (River Vista Apartments) A 22-year old woman reported that just after 4 a.m., she was robbed by two men as she exited her car. She said she noticed a car following her earlier and she noticed that it followed her into the apartment parking lot. She found a spot, parked, and was confronted and robbed as she got out of the vehicle. Both men had guns. She reported they took $500 cash, clothing, iphone, credit cards, and other property. Suspect one: Black male, 18-23, skinny, 5-8, white t-shirt, another white t-shirt he wore as a mask, saggy light-blue jeans, and a dark hoodie. Suspect two: Black male, same age, who wore a navy hoodie. She was not injured. I am going to guess that I don t need to tell you what she should have done knowing she was being followed. Burglary 5800 block Pine Brook Road / The resident reported that the dog started barking just after 4 a.m. He checked it out but found nothing. Later in the morning, he discovered a small shovel near the rear sliding door that did not belong to him. He found both sets of keys to his car and home, previously hanging on top of the refrigerator, lying in the yard, indicating the burglar made it inside the home. Nothing was taken block Roswell Road / A resident reported that around noontime, she was in her apartment s bedroom when she heard a noise from the living room. She went into the room and saw a man described as a black male dressed in an orange shirt. He saw her and ran, jumping over the balcony. The burglar stole a MacBook and ipad.

4 5300 block of Roswell Road / A resident called police to report that when she returned home, she found a burglar inside. The suspect, a white male, was exiting through a broken out window. The man fled, leaving behind a bag, which she recovered. He was described as in his 60 s, 5-9 wearing a navy button shirt, navy pants. A neighbor s video captured the man s image at the victim s front door. So far he is unidentified block PDR /21/ An office manager reported that over the weekend, someone entered the office and stole an ipad and iphone. The office was entered around 5 p.m. and the suspect exited about 25 minutes later. The security camera showed a young black male at that location, at that time. He appeared young, about years old. There was no forced entry and the normal access is data-card based but the entrance was made by a key. Theft 6100 block Roswell Road / A U-Haul truck was reported stolen after the renter failed to return it and did not answer letters of demand Roswell Road / A 65-year old man reported his wallet was stolen at LA Fitness. Welcome to the club Roswell Road / (Rick Hendrick Toyota) Staff reported a $90, Toyota Land Cruiser missing from the dealer s lot. A 2016 Toyota Corolla was also reported stolen under the victim name of Sandy Springs Toyota, same address Roswell Road (Target) /18 Target staff nabbed three juveniles after they conspired to shoplift stuff. The two 13-year olds and one 12-year old were later turned over to family members pending a juvenile court hearing.

4700 block Kitty Hawk Drive 30342 9/20 12706-The resident said a neighbor informed him he witnessed mail being thrown from a car on their street.

8300 block Roswell Road 30350 9/21/17 12740-A 28-year old woman said her SMOK STICK V-8 BABY was stolen after apartment maintenance was completed in her unit.

5 4700 block Kitty Hawk Drive / The resident said a neighbor informed him he witnessed mail being thrown from a car on their street. Five pieces of mail, each ripped open and addressed to the complainant, were tossed from a beige colored Ford Crown Victoria. The driver appeared to be a white male block Roswell Road /21/ A 28-year old woman said her SMOK STICK V-8 BABY was stolen after apartment maintenance was completed in her unit. People use these vapor things instead of cigarettes because they think it is safe. Here is what will happen: All those scientists testing this junk will eventually issue a report that says inhaling vapor, laced with whatever the flavor of the month is, will turn out as harmful as regular smoking. This means all those stupid, foolish people inhaling and creating tremendous fog emissions from their lungs, will have that horrible realization that they have created their own doom. Enough said. Thefts from Vehicles 8900 block Huntcliff Lake Ct /15 Landscape equipment 5500 block Benton Woods /15 Nothing taken 4600 Roswell Road /18 Landscape equipment 5580 Roswell Road (Lifetime Fit) /18 Dell laptop 1500 block Monterrey Pkwy /19 Bank cards, gun. Other Things A 30-year old woman reported someone opened several accounts in her name since Dillard s, GAP, and Bank of America were among the fraudulent accounts. A 52-yer old man reported someone filed taxes in his name. A 60-year old man reported that someone opened a Comcast account in his name and information.

A 59-year old woman reported Lifelock contacted her after her SSN was used to open a Comcast account. The crooks used her previous married name, not used for over 30 years.

6 A 59-year old woman reported Lifelock contacted her after her SSN was used to open a Comcast account. The crooks used her previous married name, not used for over 30 years. A 30-year old woman reported someone opened several accounts in her name over the past several years. Twenty-six accounts were found to have been fraudulently opened, and twenty-one credit inquiries were made from companies she had no interest or interaction with Colquitt Road /15 An employee of an apartment complex said someone set a lawn chair on fire. The chair was in the pool area. Video showed a female in 30 s, believed to be homeless, jump the fence after hours and lingered at the location near the chair and pool. An officer, working a domestic call, spoke to the male involved who said his girlfriend stabbed him in the face with scissors. The officer noted the following: I observed the (victim s) face where he claimed he was stabbed. It looked like a pimple had been popped Roswell Road /16 Two employees of the Ciboe Beve Italian Restaurant got into a fight after one confronted the other of disappearing for an hour while on the clock. Some of the report s terminology included: Got in his face Choke hold Blacking out Threw several items Punched in the face Another choke hold Intoxicated and finally, Fled south on Roswell Road. No one was seriously injured and the Calamari Fritti Agrodolce provide to be a great starter leading to the Rigatoni al Pomodorini Vesuvio. Ciao! A 47-year old woman reported that on 9/16 she found that the front of her home had been egged. 200 Morgan Falls Road / A woman reported that around 9:30 a.m., she was walking her dog on the trail when she came upon a man who greeted her while wearing no clothing. He was apparently holding the

7 clothes in his hand. He explained to her that he was a local friendly nudist. She continued and he continued towards the parking lot. A subsequent search did not yield the nudist Glenridge Drive / I got several s regarding the following: Officers responded to a person-down call, regarding a 27-year old woman lying in the parking deck lot beside her car. She was transported to the hospital but died later. Her death is believed to have been a medical issue and not foul play. Arrests 5975 Roswell Road /19 (Ship and Anchor Pub) Around 12:30 a.m., officers responded to the pub on a subject not paying his bar tab. The man had been in the bar since before 5 p.m. and ran an $81 tab. His credit card was declined. He was cited to appear in October Roswell Road / (Target) LP staff detained a woman who stole undergarments and concealed them, then attempted to leave the store. She was charged with Shoplifting. EINSTEINS OF THE WEEK Courtesy of Chuck Shepherd s News of the Weird Steven Gomez-Maya, 20, handed tellers at the TD Bank North in Seymour, Connecticut, a note on Aug. 19, demanding money. He apparently failed to notice that his note was written on the back of his girlfriend's pay stub, and when he tried to return to the bank (presumably to retrieve the note), the doors were locked. Seymour police tracked down the owner of the pay stub, and when they arrived at the girlfriend's home, they caught Gomez-Maya as he was driving away. The hat he wore during the robbery and "a large amount of $10 bills" were found

8 in the car, and he was charged with first-degree robbery. [Valley Independent Sentinel, 8/31/2017] Andrew Shaw, 44, of Lancashire, England, appeared before the Blackpool Magistrates Court on Aug. 29, facing three counts of possessing obscene images of children on his computer. Shaw and his wife arrived at the court with their guide dogs, as both are legally blind (Shaw has a small amount of sight in one eye). His attorney explained: "It may be argued that difficulty with his vision makes it difficult to put an age to images he downloads. He may think he is looking at 16-year-olds." Shaw was granted bail. [The Telegraph, 8/29/2017]

A COLLECTION OF INCIDENTS, SOME ARRESTS, SOME CRIME TIPS, AND A FEW KNUCKLEHEADS

A COLLECTION OF INCIDENTS, SOME ARRESTS, SOME CRIME TIPS, AND A FEW KNUCKLEHEADS WEEKLY WRAP UP 2018 May 11, 2018 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed snarky