Celebrating Ten Years of Quality Nonsense and a few Einsteins

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2 WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 January 19, 2018 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed snarky or even sarcastic are mine and do not reflect the City of Sandy Springs nor the SSPD nor anyone associated with SSPD nor anyone living in proximity of this establishment. This writing may contain spelling and/or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling. If, by reading the Wrap Up, you make the mistaken conclusion that crime is up, well, you are not correct. The difference is that we are transparent with information and knowing what happens and how these folks handled it, will serve as a learning opportunity for Crime and Punishment for This Week Robbery block Roswell Road /16 An employee of the Subway Store reported that just after 9 a.m., a man, described as white male, came into the store and pulled a gun on the employee. He then walked around the counter and took a small amount of cash from the register. The suspect was a white male, 30 s, blond and reddish hair, about 180 pounds. He wore a black motorcycle helmet with red flames painted on it block Spring Creek Lane /17 Just before 9 p.m. police responded to a robbery call. The victim said he was in the apartment parking lot trying to jump his car off because of a dead battery. A gold van approached, stopped,

3 and the passenger asked directions. The victim leaned into the window to give directions to the men when the driver reached across and grabbed the victim s cellphone from his hand, which the victim did not relinquish. As a result and according to the victim, the van drug him several hundred feet. The van then struck a parked vehicle, which apparently dislodged the victim, and his phone, from the suspect s grasp. The victim suffered a possible broken collarbone and had a welt above one eye. All three suspects were black males. The driver was described as skinny. The van was an older model, unknown make. It left the parking lot in the direction of Morgan Falls Road but was not seen thereafter. Burglary block Riley Place /17 The resident said someone stole a 2014 Mercedes Benz ML350 from her garage sometime after 11 a.m. The car was later recovered on Dogwood Drive in Atlanta. Where is Dogwood Drive you ask? Here s a hint. Its south of Campbellton Road and we probably don t hang out there much block Woodmoore Ct /17 The resident was away from the home from just before 4 p.m. until 7 p.m. Upon return, he found evidence of forced entry. Footprints were found in the snow indicating the suspect was in both the front and back yards. Nothing was reported taken block Grosvenor Place /17 A witness who observed this burglary and called the police said two white males came into the house around 10:30 a.m. Both were dressed in black. One male wore a large brimmed black hat. They knocked on the front door, and then entered through the garage. The resident reported jewelry taken from the home block Marsh Trail Cir /14 There were four individuals having a get together at the apartment. All four left for the afternoon and upon their return, discovered the front door had been forced open. Among the missing items are eight laptops and a couple of gold coins.

4 Larceny Celebrating Ten Years of Quality Nonsense and a few Einsteins blk Cimarron Pkwy /15 Stolen Vehicle-The resident said someone stole her Chevy Tahoe, white, from the apartment lot overnight Sandy Springs Pl /15 Kroger / Purse snatching block Monterrey Pky /16 Man said a couple of friends came over from Tony s Sports Bar. Later, his wallet and a video game were missing from the kitchen counter block Auden Trl /16 The complainant was loading his car. He placed his backpack next to the car, returned to the home for ten minutes, then returned to find the backpack gone. Contained is his DL, bankcard, $50 cash, and meds. He said work trucks from the city were nearby block Glenairy Dr /17 Stolen Vehicle, 2016 Range Rover Roswell Road /14 (Kroger) The complainant said that while she was shopping at Kroger, someone took her wallet from her purse. This Week s Highlight Film block Roswell Road /14 Person shot-(steak and Shake) Cops were called to a person who was shot at the restaurant just after 5 a.m. The 22-year old victim was shot in the leg. He was later taken to Atlanta Medical Center for a non-life-threatening bullet wound, through and through. The detective arrived at the hospital and spoke to the victim. After a few questions and sketchy answers, the man admitted that he lied about the whole thing because he had accidentally shot himself after sticking his hand in his pocket where he had a gun concealed. He made up a story that a grey Nissan shot him as he was standing outside smoking. [Liar, liar, pants blown off.] Thefts from Vehicles 7200 block Highland Bluff /15

5 5500 block Northside Dr / block Mt. Vernon Hwy / block Blue Teal Ct / block Powers Lake Dr / block Roswell Road /17 Assault Johnson Ferry /15 Responding to a fight call, officers spoke with two men at the scene, which is the parking deck. The first guy said he was backing out of a parking space with the second guy, behind him in another car, honked at him. The first guy said he finished backing out, then put the car in park, and then walked back to the second guy to confront him. [This is where men become stupid, or more stupid, depending on which woman you ask.] The first guy said they argued for a short time, and then the second guy threw him to the ground and hit him in the face a couple of times. The second guy said he was waiting for a parking space and honked his horn to alert him of his waiting. He said the first guy got out of his car, got in my face and spit on me. He then pinned him to the ground to mitigate his spitting. He denied hitting the first guy. Neither man wanted to prosecute but asked for documentation. You sirs are an embarrassment to our gender. A parking space resulted in fisticuffs or the accusation thererof? That will not do. May I suggest interpretive dance next time. It is less painful in most cases Crestline Pkwy /15 (Hyatt Place Hotel) Officers responded to a fight at the hotel. One man said he and two others were asleep when another man banged on the door to be let in. When he opened the door, an argument ensued, resulting in a fight. The other guy said after he was let in the room, an argument ensued over someone going to a club without the other guy and something about someone being unfaithful. The parties were separated after telling cops the fight was mutual. The good news is they left for New York, where they live, the following day.

6 Arrests Roswell Road /15 Suspended DL Spalding /15 No Insurance 400@Marta Ramp /15 Misd. Marijuana Marta Ramp /15 DUI 300 block Sandalwood Dr /15 Loitering/Prowling Abernathy / Roswell Road /15 No Insurance 400@ Abernathy Road /15 Misd. Marijuana 6300 block Roswell Road /16 Check Forgery 5600 Roswell Road /13 DUI Roswell / Abernathy /13 DUI 5600 block Roswell Road /14 DUI PDR/Hammond /17 Possession of Stolen Property PDR/Hammond /18 Possession of Firearm by Felon 5800 block Kingsport Drive /18 Cocaine/Marijuana Trafficking Commentary This cold snap is brutal! Wednesday night around midnight, the temperatures fell to 14 degrees. I drove up on a call and got out of the car. Although I had a jacket, gloves, and a stocking hat, I was still so cold I could barely speak for my teeth chattering. For some reason, when I got back into the warm car, I immediately thought how nice it would be to have a heated toilet seat. Is that weird? It is not that I spend a lot of time toilets, probably no more or less, than any other man does. I am careful not to spend too much time for fear of losing the feeling in my legs.

7 Electrically heated toilet seats have been popular in Japan since the 1970 s since Japanese bathrooms are often not heated. The seat also serves as a space heater. (Insert joke here.) Waterheated seats were used in royal homes in Britain in the twentieth century. A guy named Cyril Reginald Clayton was granted a patent for one in Subsequent improvements were made including a deodorizing model called the Deodar, later sold as the Readywarm. * *Wikipedia, where everything is true.