Celebrating Ten Years of Quality Nonsense and a few Einsteins

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WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 September 28, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so.

two square miles, as the crow flies, of SSPD. This writing may contain spelling and / or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling and you, should not make fun of me.

2 WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 September 28, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed sharp or even sarcastic are mine and do not reflect the City of Sandy Springs nor the SSPD nor anyone associated with SSPD nor anyone living within two square miles, as the crow flies, of SSPD. This writing may contain spelling and / or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling and you, should not make fun of Thanks to all the folks who took time to say hello at the new free Sandy Springs Festival. Thanks to Carol and Sarah for orchestrating the festival again this year and the volunteers who worked so hard. Thanks to the Citizens on Patrol members who donated time at the PD tent. Last but not least, thanks to Scott Busch and the folks at Steel Canyon Golf Course on Morgan Falls Road for the use of the cart again this year.

3 Crime and Punishment for This Week Robbery 6637 Roswell Road (Regions Bank) / Employees of the bank said a man came to the teller window and produced the traditional bank-robbery note that read, Give me large bills only, no bait money, you have 30 seconds. She did as she was told and the suspect left on foot with an undisclosed amount of cash. He is described as a black male, 5-9 to 5-11, tall, goatee and mustache, and wore a black and red jacket, black pants, and a black hat block Roswell Road / A 29-year old man reported that he was in a Roswell bar and took a taxi into Sandy Springs. He wanted to stop at McDonalds but the driver did not, so the fare ended his ride somewhere near Dunwoody Place and Roswell Road. [Keep in mind this took place after 3:30 a.m.] The man said two black males who showed a silver gun and demanded his money approached him. He said he had none, so they took his phone. One suspect had a white shirt with sweatpants. The other had on a shirt, black with graphics on it. See why your mom said, Nothing good happens after midnight? Generally, it does not. I can think of some exceptions but enough about me. At 3:30, you should be home in that REM phase of your sleep where you are dreaming of something that you will forget seconds after waking for that trip to the bathroom. I hate it when you know the dream was awesome and it simply fades out. I have done so many cool things in my dreams that it is only fair that I should be able to recall them. Some experts say you should wake and immediately write it down to remember the dream when you wake the following morning. I tried that. Didn t work. For some reason, all I did was draw a cartoon of Richard Nixon block Colquitt Road / The 35-year old victim said he was on the way to visit a friend at the apartment complex when two males in the breezeway area approached him. The two threatened him, and then took from him, his gold watch, diamond stud earrings, gold diamond ring and bracelet. No gun was seen nor implied.

4 Both suspects were said to be young black males, one with a burgundy hoody and the other a cream color hoodie. Burglary 6900 block Roswell Road / The resident said she took her husband to work at about 10:30 a.m. When she returned, she noticed her rent money was missing but assumed her husband took it. Later, they noticed that shoes and a video game had been taken. There was no forced entry. 200 block Green Hill Road / The resident said someone came into the home through a forced (broken) window in the basement. It appears the burglar got inside but took nothing Roswell Road / (Aldo s Italian Restaurant) Officers met a man who said that he heard glass breaking at or near the restaurant at about 4:30 a.m. He found an upstairs door ajar and glass on the floor. The items taken were not listed. The officers were able to lift several fingerprints Roswell Road / The 34-year old male reported that someone forced entry to his apartment while he was out of town. Missing are 2 queen-size mattresses, a MacBook Pro, Comcast cable box, and queen size sheets. Theft River Vista Drive /24 A 68-year old man reported his Trek bike was stolen from the 4 th floor parking level garage block PDR / Sometime between 5 p.m. and 8 a.m., someone accessed, by force, numerous mailboxes inside the apartment community mailbox center Roswell Road / An office manager for a dental practice said a former employee accessed her personal credit card and between June and August, ran up over $4,000 in charges. The same suspect is believed to have illegally used the dentist s DEA number to write a barbiturate prescription for her husband.

5 5000 block The Valley / A 37-year old man said he rents his car out on a website called Turo. The victim agreed to rent the car for $2000 for one month. After the suspect left with the car, the victim was told the credit card was stolen. The car is a 2015 BMW 328i. 500 block Monterrey Pkwy / A 32-year old man reported his 2007 Honda Civic was stolen sometime between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m A 38-year old woman reported that her friend, Big Ruff, stole her car. 200 block Dunwoody Creek Circle /28/ A 2010 Toyota Tundra truck was stolen from a residence sometime between 11:30 p.m. and 8 a.m. Thefts from Vehicles 5590 Roswell Road /22 Laptop 5590 Roswell Road /22 Book bag 1000 block Manorwood Ct /24 Change only 600 block Marsh Trail Cir /24 Nothing taken 5400 block Idlewood Drive /25 Tag from motorcycle 6300 block PDR /25 Tag 5600 Roswell Road /27 MacBook 300 block Summit Place /27 Credit and personal ID cards taken Other Things 1000 block Pitts Road / A 58-year old woman said she gave a man a lift to an apartment complex. On arrival, the man threw her pocketbook to the ground and said he would knock the hell out of her. The man said he is the maintenance employee of the apartments and the woman was living in her car on

6 the property. He said this is an ongoing issue with homeless people using vacant apartments and trashing the property. The officer s notes said the car looked lived in. A woman reported she was out of town for two months and during that time, someone applied for credit in her name A woman reported she allowed a relative to stay at her residence for a time. The relative stole her company credit card when she moved out. The relative is now in Albany, GA and has used the card for $748 at different Albany locations. The victim s company told police they would prosecute. I-285 near Riverside /28/17 Police were called just after 8 a.m. to check on a man slumped over the wheel of his truck. When they arrived, they found the 57-year old man dead from a gunshot wound, later determined to be self-inflicted. A 67-year old woman met a man named Leon, online at Match.com. They corresponded for a period until she decided to break it off. He has since texted, ed, and phoned the victim excessively and aggressively, not to mention angrily. I still like old school. Too much fraud online. Just go to Johnny s Hideaway, where the lights are low and the liquor flows A 52-year old woman said she was introduced to a man who claimed to be a mortgage expert and would help her avoid foreclosure. The man convinced the woman to add him to the deed, which she did. The man subsequently added multiple names to the deed. The woman is now attempting to sell the home, however the [suspect] is interfering with the sale PDR /23 done A 49-year old man met another man, in the parking lot of the Home Depot, who said he could fix his credit for a fee. He paid the man $1200 and was promised to be contacted in a few months. He has been in contact with the man but nothing has been What the ($#*^%) are you thinking? You don t meet financial advisors or credit counselors in the (@#%$^)-ing parking lot!!

THIS WEEK S PARADE OF IDIOTS 5975 Roswell Road 30328 9/22 12809-A man came into the Eyewear Galleria, upset over his glasses.

7 THIS WEEK S PARADE OF IDIOTS 5975 Roswell Road / A man came into the Eyewear Galleria, upset over his glasses. Another patron said something to him that provoked the man to shove the other guy, and in the process, knocked a woman to the ground. The man left but he is identified by his info at the store Roswell Road / The manager of Wing Stop said man came in at closing time, wanting to order wings. He was told the store was closing, provoking him into a tantrum. He grabbed the register/computer, threw it to the ground, and then ran to a Nissan car, black in color, and fled. A woman said shortly after 11 p.m., her downstairs neighbor made excessive noises by stomping and slamming drawers. After a while, she too stomped in protest. Shortly after, she heard a banging on her door. She opened it to find a note and photocopy of items he stored in front of his door. She is the HOA person for the community. Arrests 2090 Dunwoody Club Drive / The employees of Fifth Third Bank called regarding a forgery in progress. Cops arrived minutes later and detained a man who had (uttered) a check he wanted cashed for $2,370. The bank checked with the check s issuer who said the check was mailed to a company for $370, but never made it. The suspect was jailed on 3 rd Degree Forgery charges. Abernathy / Wright Roads /22 A traffic-unit officer conducted a speeding stop on a motorist going about 52 in a 35. The driver was identified as being wanted on a Transaction Fraud warrant out of Tyrone, GA. He was arrested.

EINSTEINS OF THE WEEK Courtesy of Chuck Shepherd s News of the Weird www.newsoftheweird.

8 EINSTEINS OF THE WEEK Courtesy of Chuck Shepherd s News of the Weird An unnamed man in Plymouth, Minnesota, went to extraordinary lengths and wasted two days of police investigators' time just to get a few days away from his wife, police Sgt. Keith Bird said. The woman reported her 34-year-old husband missing on Aug. 28 and showed police a text from him saying he had been kidnapped. The kidnapper demanded a paltry $140 for his return, and the wife agreed, but the kidnapper said she could wait for the husband to receive his paycheck. Eventually police caught up with the husband, who insisted he had indeed been kidnapped but asked officers to stop investigating. "He's fine," said Sgt. Bird. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune, 9/2/2017] Paul J. Newman of Rensselaer, New York, was sentenced on Sept. 6 to 2 1/3 to seven years in prison after pretending to be a licensed and registered architect, after an investigation the New York attorney general's office dubbed "Operation Vandelay Industries" in a nod to "Seinfeld." Newman's charges included larceny, forgery, fraud and unlicensed practice of architecture. He will also have to pay more than $115,000 in restitution to his victims. [Albany Business Review, 9/6/2017] After arguing with a security guard about the high price of parking, a woman in Benxi, Liaoning Province, China, left her car in front of the entrance gate to a housing community on Aug. 22. But people have to get in and out, so a crane was employed to lift the car onto the roof of the security building next to the gate. Onlookers can be heard laughing in a video of the incident. The car was later lowered to the ground using the crane. [United Press International, 8/23/2017]

A COLLECTION OF INCIDENTS, SOME ARRESTS, SOME CRIME TIPS, AND A FEW KNUCKLEHEADS

A COLLECTION OF INCIDENTS, SOME ARRESTS, SOME CRIME TIPS, AND A FEW KNUCKLEHEADS WEEKLY WRAP UP 2018 July 26, 2018 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed snarky