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1 June 2016 Volume 16 Issue 6 Reports News Photos Plans Leaks Jokes Whispers Secrets Rumours Classifieds and General Nonsense Reports News Photos Plans Leaks Jokes Whispers Secrets Rumours Classifieds and General Nonsense ACE Copiers - proud Sponsors of our Ulysses Branch newsletter Page No: 1 Volume 16 Issue 6

2 President s Prattle Hi Everyone, Thank you for your confidence in both myself and the committee to run the branch for another year. We look forward to bringing you another year filled with excellent times. This is Werner s first edition of the newsletter and by all accounts it is a great one. We are extremely lucky to have such talented people who are willing to give up an amazing amount of time to do things for the branch. I was having a chuckle when going through this edition, as Werner has put a lot of humour into it. Thanks Werner :-) By now most of the travellers will have returned from Shark Bay. Some were lucky enough to continue northwards following the sun. There will probably be many tall (and possibly true) tales that will be shared around. I look forward to the stories going to print in coming newsletters, so please, send them and your favourite happy snaps in to Werner. That s it from me this month. Take care on the roads especially in the wet. Cheers Dianna Money Matters Hi All, This month s balance is $ We have received payment for the media transport for HBF Run For A Reason. The regular riders can have a rest for a few months as this was the last of our transportation duties for the season. Our next Triathlon will be in October. We have our ride calendar meeting tonight and we usually have a few spots unfilled, If anybody would like to lead a ride but don t know how to go about it, or can t think of a destination, please see Derek or myself and we will be pleased to lend you a hand. Thanks for everybody who helped out at the Shark Bay Rally. Hope to see you all at Kalbarri next year. Hope to see you on our next ride or event. Regards Chris Glover, Treasurer Page No: 2 Volume 16 Issue 6

3 Brmstik Babble Hi All Just a very short one from me this month as my health has kept me from a few rides. Our branch AGM was very short and sweet with no contenders for the current positions. Dianna our President is now the longest standing president in WSW history and she has welcomed her team members back for another term. We had the first Rider Down first aid course last Saturday, 21 st May at Chris & Dianna s place. Fifteen branch members attended. Apparently we were the first group to trial it in WA and Janine Nicholas was our instructor. The course was very informative and helpful as she took us inside the body with a small anatomy presentation to show us why we need to have the knowledge of first aid and how this helps with correct procedure and application. We learnt a lot about looking for potential dangers and how to follow the vital steps into saving a life. There was a small segment when a visitor showed us a new product that helps to stop blood flow. This product is quite amazing but also quite expensive. But how can you put a price on a life? We had test questions after each segment and then it was on to the practical side of the course. This is the part that Sed really likes to be involved; unfortunately he wasn t there this time. The course took slightly longer than expected but we all got through and we all passed with flying colours. Thank you to the members who became first aiders with the Rider Down course and thank you to Chris and Dianna for the use of their home and the delicious snacks and lunch. We will all receive our Certificates in the mail in the very near future. I would like to say farewell and safe travels to all those attending the Shark Bay Rally in June and please have one or two bevies for me! I will be there in spirit. Always take care, be aware, and be kind to each other. cheers Julie Wilcox #35151 Secretary Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes. Page No: 3 Volume 16 Issue 6

4 Things We Do WSW Branch - AGM 2016 On Thursday, 12. May 2016 our branch held this year s Annual General Meeting at the Rockingham Hotel. To end the year, the President, the Secretary and the Treasurer submitted their final annual reports. The treasurer advised that he will also send the annual financial statement to the national administration for approval. This year, Sherrel O Neil was our returning officer. After the meeting accepted the annual reports, Sherrel declared all seats on the committee vacant. She then individually read out the nomination that were received for each position. For each position only one nomination was received. Each nominee was asked if he/she accepted the nomination. As each nominee accepted his/her nomination, each was in turn declared elected un-opposed. We elected the following committee members and helpers for our branch for 2016/17: President Dianna Glover Secretary Julie Wilcox Treasurer Chris Glover Ride Coordinator General Committee Derek Wilcox Ride Coordinator Joe Casserly PR Officer Keith Wellfare MC Alan Potter The following ex-officio members will assist with the running of our branch for the year: Quartermaster Ken Donaldson Webmaster Chris Cooper Welfare Officer Glen Mackie Editor Werner Wilmes The contact details of all of the above are on the last page of this publication as always. The Editor Page No: 4 Volume 16 Issue 6

5 For The Birthday Girl Who Has Seen It All I was asked by Karen to give her mother an 80 th birthday to remember. Now what can you give an 80 year old lady that is really new to her? Since I have a new steed, I had the answer right away! I asked Alan to come along to take this lady and her daughter on a Can-Am ride around Rockingham. We travelled down past Pengos and the Rockingham Foreshore and then took her on a 100 km ride back home to her family. I believe it was a great birthday for Karen s mum and left us all with huge smiles on our faces. Joe Casserly A photo of Sue taking a photo Sue s photo Sue and Joe promised that the next time they will all take their helmets off before taking a photo. Thanks To Our Helpers Tina and I would like to send massive Thanks to all the friends who helped us move to our first Aussie home in Warnbro, and those that offered help. Many hands make light work, which we did prove by moving almost everything in one day when I thought it would take two! And nothing was broken! Great Result. Diolch yn fawr iawn. That's Welsh for thank you very much Taff & Tina No liability is accepted for the above contribution in a foreign language as I do not have a Welsh dictionary. (the Ed) Update - Quindanning Races After a protest was lodged at Pengos Pit Lane, the final race result is now as follows: First to arrive at the Quindanning pub were Brian & Babe; they took advantage of the traffic lights at the bridge near the finish. Don t worry, they would never ever run a red light, would they? And the last was yours truly, after working our way through the field all day and finally achieving 2nd place near the finish, we were caught as a corner marker at the very last corner of the day. I hope that those I did not mention find it in their hearts to forgive an old and feeble man. The Editor Page No: 5 Volume 16 Issue 6

6 HBF - Run For A Reason The usual suspect met at 5.30 am (yes, a.m.) at the servo on the freeway to do some volunteering at the HBF Run For A Reason in the city. Lead by our Prez and the Money Man, Tony, John, Chris and yours truly picked up our photographers on St George s Terrace and moved them along the various routes. One photographer actually used a drone to take pictures and video. I believe all our passengers were very happy that we were able to slip through all those cars that had mistaken the streets of Perth City for a car park on that day. By about am we were all on the way home in brilliant sunshine. For the riders it was actually a warm and pleasant day in the city while we raised funds for our branch. Werner Wilmes Right Chris trying hard to get away so he doesn't get run over by the mob This guy was playing with his life He might be somewhere underneath this The runners had all become walkers when they emerged from the Poly Pipe. Page No: 6 Volume 16 Issue 6

7 Pingelly via Dwellingup Last time we were going to Pingelly we had to cancel because of rain, so we were pleased when the forecast said it should hold off until late afternoon. We soon had the boring 4kms of freeway over and were riding up through Pinjarra to Dwellingup. The Blue Wren had our usual table reserved for us. I think they put us out there because we are so loud when chatting; at least until the food arrives. It was very pleasant outside in the sunshine. Most of the group decided to continue on to lunch and everyone who came along for the ride enjoyed the winding roads after Boddington, through Crossman and on to Pingelly. The Pingelly Hotel had the long table set up for us in the dining room, which we had to ourselves. Once again away from the other patrons. It looks like we have a bit of a theme happening here! The food soon arrived, which was very tasty and fresh and reasonably priced we thought. Lunch over, we decided to try to beat the rain by heading home through Wandering and Jarrahdale. Most of us made it home with only some very light drizzle on the way. Chris & Dianna. Spooky - Ghost Riders following Chris & Dianna Everybody is smiling. Someone told a joke? Why did nobody stop next to Keith & Jo? Our usual orderly parking Just Cruisin Page No: 7 Volume 16 Issue 6

8 Casserole Night At Sherrel & David s Finally we tried out our fancy new GPS to find Sherrel and David s place in Mandurah. Despite going against all the electronic instructions we did actually find Mandurah. However, we did not find our hosts abode. So, like in the good old days, I stopped in a driveway and called Tony for directions. In turn I received the advice Just park in the car park on the other side of the road and come in. Apparently we had stopped at the right spot. No idea how we did that. Eventually we made our way inside and were ready to feast. Sherrel and Dave s lounge looked a lot like Pengos; all seats were taken and familiar friendly faces all around. Due to the numbers, poor David had to bring in additional tables and chairs so we could all park our bums. And then we ate, ate and ate. I have no idea who cooked all the food on offer, but all of it was just great. After chatting for a while (while eating), we all left to go home a bit heavier. Thanks to Sherrel and David for having us at your place. Werner Page No: 8 Volume 16 Issue 6

9 Preston Beach Ride By the time you read this I hope my cold/flu will be over and I ll be back to my normal? Self. Having said that, I wasn t so sure if I could find our destination on this Sunday morning, so I fitted our GPS with some velcro to my bike s tank. I should not have bothered; the moment we left our driveway, Dawn turned towards Waikiki and I had to chase after her anyway. Eventually we made our start from Warnbro, but nobody seemed willing to follow the ride leader? It looked like everybody waited for everybody else to go first to mark the next corner. The ride down Ennis Ave and Safety Bay Road went pretty smooth and by the time we reached Masters, everybody was riding in the same group. On we went via Little America (Hopelands Road - straight-on forever) to the Pinjarra Bakery. There we all got our first coffee, tea and cake within the hour from leaving Warnbro. That place was packed with members of the Joondalup Ulysses Club when we arrived and as we left, the Mandurah Ulyssians arrived. Before we left, Sherrel won the bottle of wine and Kath did not pull the joker in the raffle. From Pinjarra it was only three corners to the Footprints Cafe in Preston Beach. I was impressed by the thoughtfulness of the Café management; one long table was already set up for us, table cloths with Reserved for Ulysses Club. Thank You, Footprints. This was one of the very rare occasions where we did not have to shift the furniture around to sit together. After a nice lunch, we rode home in perfect weather. I hope all who came enjoyed it as much as I did. And thanks to Sed for being our Tail End Charlie. Werner Arriving at the start in Warnbro Ready for coffee and cake in Pinjarra What is Dianna selling? The long table in Preston Beach Page No: 9 Volume 16 Issue 6

10 (Too) Late News 2016 AGM Dianna found a crashed drone in Launceston that had some aerial photos of our AGM camp site in Launceston in its memory. I do hope that these pictures will entice a few more of our members to ride to the next or any other future AGM. Have a close look: Marked 1 is Villa Relaxo of Chris & Dianna, marked 2 is the Taj Mahal of Keith & Joe and marked 3 is the Flying Sofa of Dawn & Werner. The Editor Page No: 10 Volume 16 Issue 6

11 Things We Like The Weather Forecast A couple were sitting in their living room watching TV when the phone rang. The husband picked it up, listened for five seconds then screamed: How the hell would I know? Call the weather channel! As he stomped back to his chair, his wife asked: What was that all about? He replied: It was just some dumb asshole wanting to know if the coast was clear. Little Johnny A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mother s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning: I need a man! I need a man! Over the next few months, he saw her doing this often. One day he came home from school and heard her moaning differently. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed starting stroking himself, moaning: I need a bike! I need a bike! Page No: 11 Volume 16 Issue 6

12 Please submit your notice to as early as possible to allow for a timely publication. Wanted Touring Bike Brian and Carole are looking for a Touring bike. Here they are taking it easy on a test ride. Offered Tutu For all our fast mamas out there, I have the tutu just for you. Your Notice HERE It s free for members You can even post a funny picture. We prefer it if it shows you in an embarrassing situation. Fame Do you want to become famous, be a legend amongst your peers? I can make that happen! This is what you do: Go on a ride with the Warnbro Sound Wanderers. Take some photos when time allows and write a few notes afterwards. Give all that to me and I make you FAMOUS! I will put your story and your name in this publication. Trust me, it does not cost you a thing. PS: And never let the facts get in the way of a good yarn OR HERE It s still free Page No: 12 Volume 16 Issue 6

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15 WSW Committee Members WA Ulysses Branches Thought Of The Month President Dianna Glover Secretary Julie Wilcox Treasurer Chris Glover Ride Coordinators Derek Wilcox Chris Glover Public Relations Officer Joe Casserly General Committee Members Keith Wellfare Alan Potter WSW Ex-Officio Members Quarter Master Ken Donaldson Webmaster Chris Cooper Welfare Officer Glen Mackie News Editor Werner Wilmes Armadale Heritage Meet first Thursday each month. 8:00pm Narrogin Inne, Armadale Broome West Kimberly Bunbury Meet first Wednesday each month. 7:00pm Highway Hotel, Bunbury Esperance Fremantle Meet 2nd Thursday each month 8:00pm Swan Yacht Club, Fremantle Geraldton Meet first Wednesday each month. 7:30pm Camel Bar, Geraldton Great Southern Joondalup Meet 2nd Tuesday each month. 8:00pm Glengarry Tavern, Warwick Kalgoorlie Meet 2nd Saturday each month 6:00pm Kalgoorlie Club, Egan St Mandurah Murray Perth Meet last Wednesday each month. 8pm Victoria Park Hotel Albany Hwy Pilbara Warnbro Sound Wanderers Meet 2nd Thursday each month. 8:00pm Rockingham Hotel In the 60s we took LSD to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and we take Prozak to make it look normal. Page No: 15 Volume 16 Issue 6