Celebrating Ten Years of Quality Nonsense and a few Einsteins

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2 WEEKLY WRAP UP 2017 December 18, 2017 Disclaimer: The Weekly Wrap Up includes some but not all of the reports filed with SSPD over the past week or so. Any opinions or other comments that may be deemed snarky or even sarcastic are mine and do not reflect the City of Sandy Springs nor the SSPD nor anyone associated with SSPD nor anyone living within two square miles, as the crow flies, of SSPD. This writing may contain spelling and/or grammatical errors, which are a direct result of my public schooling and you, should not make fun of me as my feelings will be hurt and I ll have to seek a safe Crime and Punishment for This Week Robbery Johnson Ferry Road /22 Bank Robbery, SunTrust Bank Bank employees said that just before 5 p.m., a black male, black jacket, gray skull shirt, black beanie cap and glasses, came into the bank, whistling and filling out paperwork at the center console area. After several minutes, he walked up to a teller and handed her a note stating that this was a robbery and not to pull any alarms and no one would get hurt. He took an undisclosed amount of money, after demanding the note back. He left on foot.

3 block Roswell Road /26 A 22-year old man told officers he intended to purchase an iphone from a seller on the Letitgo App. The seller asked to meet in the construction area next to the Collection Apartments, 4600 Roswell Road at around 9 p.m. (That construction area is very dark at night. That should have been a clue, which it was. The victim told the person to meet inside the CVS.) The suspect met the caller inside the CVS Store, Roswell and Windsor Pkwy. The suspect asked the victim if they could go outside because his kids were in the car. Once outside, the suspect pulled a gun and demanded money. The victim said he had none. The suspect then immediately walked away, in the direction of the apartments, getting nothing for his efforts. This location, just south of the Collection Apartments, was the scene of a fraudulent sale of a phone that turned out to be only a calculator. The lookout was similar to this offense. Burglary block Tahoma Drive /22 Just before 1 a.m., officers responded to the address where they saw the resident pointing to someone on the ground. Officers found a male block Roswell Road /22 This is the Boston Market Restaurant. A vendor found shattered glass near the door and called police. The safe appeared to have pry marks on it, as did a cash register. The crook got some cash from the safe block Spalding Circle /24 The caller said that he was on his balcony just after 8 p.m. when he heard a loud, crashing noise coming from his downstairs neighbor s residence. He yelled down to who he thought was his neighbor, asking if everything was okay. An unfamiliar voice responded. The caller then saw four persons running from the location block Berkley Drive /24 The resident was out of town since December 22. Upon return, she noticed forced entry to her front door. Apparently, the burglar was meticulous, leaving behind a flat screen TV, a small gun found in a drawer that the burglar placed on top of the dresser, and a check. Missing is s gift card for P.F. Chang for $50. This burglar is an apparent moron.

4 Roswell Road /27 The resident said someone came into the apartment between 11:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. The victim said he is missing a suitcase valued at $40 and ten sneakers valued at $1200. He listed about $500 in additional clothing stolen from the home. The burglar made entry through a bedroom window Marseilles Drive /27 The resident contacted police from out of town. He told officers that he was watching a wireless video feed of two suspects who were in his home. Officers responded but the suspects were already gone. The caller said he saw the two suspects outside the house and then inside after they forced entry block Brentwood Way /27 The resident said he left for work around 4:00 p.m. Prior to leaving for work, an acquaintance, who was visiting, asked to remain at the home. The resident said no, which angered the man, but he left at the same time the resident did. Upon return home at 9 p.m., the resident found his door kicked in and a MacBook laptop missing. Nothing else was taken. His friend is on the short list. Larceny 900 block Hammond Drive / Chainsaw stolen 5610 Glenridge Drive / Stolen Car 8455 Roswell Road / Wendy s 1100 Johnson Ferry Road / Stolen Car 1000 block Garden Ct / Stolen Car 185 Cliftwood Drive / $1000 stolen from apartment 5000 block Long Island Drive / Gold Rolex taken following party 7300 block Roswell Road / Stolen Car 5800 block Glenridge Drive / Stolen Car Dunwoody Springs Drive / meds taken. Resident suspects the house cleaner. 100 block Spalding Drive / Theft of mail Roswell Road and Grogan s Fry / Victim said after a night of hard drinking, she believes her car was stolen although she doesn t

5 Glenlake Pkwy / Stolen Car remember exactly where she parked it block Hammond Drive / Theft of mail Thefts from Vehicles 5610 Glenridge Drive / block River North Ct / block PDR / Mt. Vernon Hwy / Roswell Road / Mt. Vernon Hwy / Perimeter Center West / Cliftwood Drive / block Long Beach Circle /28 Other Things Fraud-7000 block Dunhill Terrace /22 The resident said someone used her Visa Card to make an online purchase of Air Jordan Sneakers at a price of $315 and $5 in tax. (That alone is a crime.) The shoes were delivered to her home but she will return them to the vender Fraud-7700 block Mt. Vernon Hwy /23 The victim said someone opened various bank accounts in his name including a Verizon order for a 4G Smartphone valued at a cost of $1239. They delivered the phone to his home. He took possession of the phone to return it. So, here are two crooks who managed to fraudulently buy the items, but they didn t have a solid plan to acquire the stolen goods. Nice job guys.

6 17248-Fraud-8000 block Ball Mill Drive /26 The caller said he was contacted by a collection agency on a $919 past due bill with Comcast. The account was opened in February and closed out in May of this year. Assault De Clair Ct /22 Domestic 5800 block PDR /23 Domestic 5500 block Glenridge Drive /24 Domestic 2000 block Sandalwood Drive /24 Domestic Davis Drive /26 Domestic 400 block Mt. Vernon Hwy /26 Domestic 5800 blk Treelodge Pkwy /28 Domestic Arrests 7900 blk Colquitt Rd /22 DUI Abernathy / GA /22 DUI GA 400/Pitts Road /22 Suspended DL 7325 Roswell Road /22 DUI 285/Roswell Road /22 Concealing ID of vehicle 285/ New Northside Drive /23 Suspended DL 8200 block Dunwoody Place /23 Wanted Person Arrested 5600 block PDR /24 Wanted Person Arrested 5800 block Roswell Road /27 DUI (Burglary Arrest) 2800 block Summer Lake Drive /27 Around 8:30 p.m., officers were called to Preserve at Dunwoody Apartments regarding several calls that a man was knocking on doors and attempting to get into them. A resident flagged the officers and pointed them to the direction where he last saw the man. One of the officers located the man who then ran with the cops on foot, pursuing. The officers spit up in order to head him off at the pass, and sure enough, the man came full circle and into the view of the second officer who took immediate notice that the man was carrying a broom and shovel. The officers finally corralled the suspect and took him into custody. He was, to no one s surprise, impaired. When it

7 was all said and done, he had forced his way into two apartments and tried for a third before being arrested. He was charged with two counts of Burglary, Possession of Tools for Commission of a Crime, and Criminal Attempt to Commit Burglary block Tahoma Drive /22 Officers responded to a burglary in progress just before 1 a.m. The caller was upstairs of his residence and pointed down towards the area that he believed the suspected burglar was. Officers found him near the garage of the residence. His legs were bleeding slightly from his botched attempt to break into the home. A rock and part of a downspout was found near the entry point. The suspect told cops that some underground entity had power over him, causing him to be at that address. He was checked out at the hospital. The suspect was obviously hallucinating, telling officers someone jumped into the back seat of the patrol car and injected him with Sodium Benzocarbinate and Sodium Penethal. The old Sodium Benzocarbinate and Sodium Penethal alibi. Well played sir. Hi Folks, Commentary of the Week You may notice that the format of the Wrap Up is a bit different. The reports are taken from our report system (RMS) where I can access the face page showing an incident type and a short narrative. They changed the format so that the officer s narrative is no longer on the face page. For me, this means that I have to open each individual report to read the narrative, meaning it takes more time that I do not necessarily have. So, I ll pick and choose and go into detail on cases, incidents, and arrests that are significant or at least interesting. That said, the idea remains to allow the reader to learn how to avoid mistakes by seeing how others got themselves into misfortune by making simple mistakes. Take the guy who was robbed at the CVS. From that, you should take away three good points. Don t meet strangers at night to sell items. Stay inside a public place.

8 How can I use Sodium Benzocarbinate and Sodium Penethal as an excuse to get out of work tomorrow? Here is the Commentary Part We are located on the northern border of Atlanta. As such, we get what Atlanta gets but in small doses. Overall, we address crime more efficiently than ever before. Don t forget that in 2005, we had 40 officers assigned to Sandy Springs precinct and only a handful to cover that area north of the river now known as John s Creek and Milton. We have about 130 now. We make more arrests than ever and the city judicial system isn t shy about sending habitual offenders off for a few months to the lovely confines of the Pickens County Jail. The fact that I write about the activity in Sandy Springs shouldn t be interpreted as an indicator that we re seeing an increase in crime. Most of our 2017 numbers actually show a decrease. We talk about crime and my intent is to show how most of it could be prevented. I get s all the time from folks who employ those simple things making them a high-risk to the crook. Simple things and I m all about simplicity thanks to my public schooling. We are at the point where I really and truly expect most of you all to get it meaning you understand how bad things happen and how you can be the exception. How many of you sent money via pre-paid debit card to get your grandson out of trouble or to Agent So-and-So of the IRS who had a warrant for you unless you go to CVS and get that card to pay the them? How many of you let someone access your computer just because he said he was from Microsoft and your computer was messed up? All I need is your credit card sir. And, for goodness sakes, I hope you learned from that poor dude who went full frontal on Skype, thinking he was going to score with that girl on the other end, only to find himself an extortion victim with his nudity pasted all over the Internet. How did he think that would end well? All is well! We will be just fine. Remember that bad things come and go, crime trends like to recycle every few years but it s all about common sense. Relax. The only thing we have to fear is the return of disco. Have a great New Year s Weekend Be safe and be happy!

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