BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

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1 BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS Website: HASH TRASH It is a truth universally acknowledged that the hash trash never lies. What you are about to read either has happened, is happening now, or will happen at some time in the future. Or nearly, anyway. GRAND MISTRESS Aspley ASSISTANT RA Petrie Flower RELIGIOUS ADVISER Kallangur Chunda HASH HABERDASH Beachmere Cheesecake Kuntry Girl HASH CASH Chermside To From & HASH TRASH/NERD Murrumba Downs Pounda HARE RAISER Sandgate Smooth Ride HASH ELDER Chermside To & From HASH BOOZE Indooroopilly Tail SONG MISTRESS Aspley Flower HASH FLASH Murrumba Downs Beat-a- Root Your committee are located throughout the northern suburbs. We are more than happy to take delivery of, or collect, the plates and cutlery if the holder can t make it to the next run. RUN NO: 2081 DATE: 7/5/2018 HARE: Meatlover and Smooth Ride LOCATION: Sandgate As Milli Vanilli said, BLAME IT ON THE RAIN. A good sized group of hashers gathered under the covered bridge in Einbunpin Lagoon park in Sandgate. Was it in anticipation of being set off on a good run or was it to get out of the rain. A bit of both I think. Either way at 6.30pm, Meatlover called for Hash quiet and proceeded to go into full Military mode of giving orders to explain the run/walk. Too much information was the call, just tell them which way to go and then we were off. The runners went to the right and the walkers off to the left with the walkers coming across an On Home marking within about 100m from home. Presented with a tough decision of whether to follow this trail or not, we decided to push on and look for more trail. About 300m up the road though it all turned pair shaped as the rain had washed out the rest of the trail. So from that moment on we just made shit up. Eventually everyone made

2 it back safe and sound. Hash Cash To & From called the run count and then the GM Flower called the circle and summonsed the hare s Meatlover and Smooth Ride to the docks to be judged. The Run Report as told by Abbo: Abbo said that it was really muggy out there and he got really damp from running around. He said that the first couple of arrows were good but then they came upon the shortest false trail in history. About three feet. But they ended up doing a nice little run. Score: 2/10 The Walk Report as told by Dog: Dog said that it was really good and that he thought that we should all start using the same chalk because it was excellent. Score: 9.5/1,000 The Letterbox Walk Report as told by Mammary Stick: Mammary Stick said that it was going to be a real letterbox walk but it turned into a bit of a shag walk, they went past the water fountain and then came back. Too much rain. Score: No score given. The Security Report as told by Sherbet: Sherbet said that it was good because she didn t get wet. Score: No score given. Total score of 11.5/1,010 S.H.I.T.T.Y. T.R.A.I.L. Shitty Trail. HASH RELIGIOUS ARTICLES Large Appendage: FIGJAM had this and gave it to Ned for going away and acting like a 12yo and breaking his arm while skateboarding. He s stupid, he s stupid, he s really fucking dumb. Small Appendage: Pickpocket had this and gave it to Tail. Pickpocket had overheard Tail telling FIGJAM that she wanted some rough sex. Have it with this he said. She s a Harriette and she s alright. Scrubber Shirt: FIGJAM had this and gave it to Meatlover for the shortest false trail that he had ever seen. Why was he born so beautiful. Brush (Vagina): FIGJAM had this and decided to keep it for a while to find a deserving recipient. Paddle (Penis Sizer): Thunderbox has this and is still seeing if he measures up. Milestone Runs: - Nil Returnees: - Nil Visitors/Virgins: - Pylon and Amanda Birthdays: Chunda and Vampire

3 CHARGES: It was a chorus line calling for a charge for Abbo. Whenever it rains during a Hash run, Abbo gets a drink. This has been the way ever since he famously said one night many moons ago that it never rains during a Hash run. Famous last words Abbo. Last night he stayed at home and masturbated. Pounda then had a charge for Abbo. It appeared that Picinini was missing tonight as it was the anniversary of the day Abbo sold his child off to another family. Happy wedding anniversary Picinini, take a drink for him Abbo. He ought to be publicly pissed on. He ought to be publicly shot. Pounda then had another charge and this time it was for FIGJAM. On his way to hash Pounda got a call from FIGJAM asking where tonight s run was. After getting the address he entered it into his Satnav and then proceeded to drive another 200m up the road to tonight s venue. You almost got there FIGJAM. DAS AUTO There s a skeeter on his peeter whack it off. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Cheesie s Challenge is on the 10 th June 18. A bit of a bike ride with a few hills and a mountain, followed by some pies back at Cheesecake s place. There will be a soft-cocks version for those that can t or don t want to ride up hills or too far. Hash Relay (last one ever) coming up in August. Please see Heart Starter for details. If you require any Hash Haberdashery for the next five weeks, please see Beat-a-Root as Kuntry Girl will be away. Thirsty Hash Change Over Celebrations Rock-n-Roll night on Ned s boat on the 12th May. See Flower for details. Noosa Hash 2000 th run 15 th 17 th June at Lake McDonald. BNH3 Website has now been fixed and we are now able to put the Hash Trash on there. All photos have now been removed and if you want a copy please see Pounda. NEXT WEEKS S RUN #2082 To & From Burnie Brae Park, Kuran St, Chermside PHOTOS

4 The Evidence Our Hare s Smooth Ride and Meatlover. Our virgins Pylon and Amanda. Chunda and Vampire celebrate a birthday. It never rains on a Hash run Abbo.

5 Tail looking for some rough sex. How long does a false trail need to be Meatlover. Ned and the results from his Tony Hawk moves. DAS AUTO FIGJAM

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