Essex Hash House Harriers

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1 Essex Hash House Harriers Issue 7 from The Mistress: Oct Dec 2013 Find us at AGPU 7th Sept 2013 A superb night was enjoyed by 22+ hashers at the Rising Sun in Billericay on a warm Saturday night. As usual the evening began in the car park with some hashers shunting in and out then finally double parking! Other hashers occupied themselves with peeping into cars one which held a harriet changing!! Then followed a short pleasant r*n around the delight of Billericay. A warm friendly atmosphere greeted us in the hall laid out ready for our meal. Vicky Vomit had organised a photo competition from various r*ns which began the fun. An excellent chicken curry (with an alternative) followed which got us ready for the job in hand! Our dream team chaired the AGPU meeting and as they had done such a good job they were duly re-elected. Complete committee overleaf. Awards, Down Down s and a couple of quizzes rounded of a smashing evening. On On Mistress 1

2 Fun and games at the AGPU Finally got to see my granddaughter Juliet, born while we where at Clacton-on-sea weekend. Although not in the picture, she did receive the pink rucksack with cuddly toy, mug and travel clock. thank you! Stiff Meat A future hasher maybe!! Hashy Congratulations to Tops and Windsock on their recent marriage. A very stunning red, white and blue affair enjoyed by their family and friends in Westcliff. Many Hashy On On s Well, here is hearing from me!! Can u make sure my trail is listed correctly for Sunday 10th November at 11.00am Strawberry Field Pub, A127 Southend (near Tesco) SS2 6GB Thanks C U Next Tuesday (Paul) 2

3 EH3 Away weekend in Norfolk 28/29 Sept 2013 A beautiful sunny Saturday gave promise to a good weekend as myself, the Master and Puball travelled to north Norfolk to meet our fellow Essex hashers for a weekend beer festival and hashing with the Norfolk crowd. Woolly Jumper must have ordered the sun as it stayed with us all weekend. As this was our first hashing weekend out of Essex we were really looking forward to it. A warm welcome awaited us when we arrived at the lovely Grange Hotel and camp site. After finding our pitch and setting up camp we joined the group in the hotel garden, bathed in sunshine, to chat and catch up with everyone. The tap room was open with an enormous choice of beers and cider so the alcohol and conversation was flowing. Unfortunately the promised hog roast became a pork or burger bap from the kitchen served outside in the dark with lots of hold-ups, but apart from that Woolly Jumper had certainly organised an excellent venue. Sunday morning found the hashers enjoying a choice of a breakfast bap up to a mighty full English depending on appetite. All very good I hear! Both the pack and KC started of together on a smashing course around the local area of California Bay and Scratby. The KC took a shorter route across the heath land whilst the pack took in the beach!! Lunchbox and Puball decided to have a swim. Down Downs followed for the swimmers, Twonk for wearing pink lycra and myself for falling out of our motorhome door! Don t ask. An excellent weekend. Mistress 3

4 Position Hash Name Contact Joint Grand Steve "Heap 'o' Crap" Monk Masters Sylvia "'avent Got One" Monk A Dream Team Religious Advisors The Siblings Phillip Pulled Out Esdaile Wendy Tinkerbell Holdich Hash Cash Trevor BCSP Read On-Sex Linda The Mistress Bates Haberdashers Julie Sooty Hills Jan Dr Doolittle Buchanan Hare Razors John Pied Piper Spooner Tony Zipper Clarke 4 The

5 Beer Mistress Jacqui Blowdry Houghton Combined Webmaster & Chris Lunchbox Hills Hash Flash Hash Awards Peter "The Master" Bates Cultural Attaché's Dave "Windsock" French Penny "Tops" French Song Master Paul Omo Holdich Joint Masters Casey Jones Duchess Captain Nibbles Pic A O W Sucked In, BCST Corpse Shagger, Tenna Lady Stiff 5 Meat, Action Man Vicky Vomit, IE

6 The only way most hashers can get a six-pack 'Viagra' is now available in tea bags. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft. The Importance of Accuracy in your Tax Return The HMRC has returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly. In response to the question, Do you have anyone dependant on you? The man wrote: "2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 900,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 600+ idiots in Parliament and the entire European Commission". The HMRC stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.. The man's response back to HMRC was "Who did I miss out?". To The Master for 20th October Please join us on his Hashy birthday run on Monday 21st October at The Railway Tavern, 7.00pm (see run list) chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. 6

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