BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Transcription

1 BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS Website: HASH TRASH It is a truth universally acknowledged that the hash trash never lies. What you are about to read either has happened, is happening now, or will happen at some time in the future. Or nearly, anyway. GRAND MASTER Murrumba Downs ASSISTANT RA Kallangur Pounda RELIGIOUS ADVISER Petrie Cheesecake HASH HABERDASH Beachmere Chunda Kuntree Girl HASH CASH Arana Hills Boxy HASH TRASH & FLASH Windsor Semen Stains & Christopher Cum Semen HARE RAISER Brighton HASH BOOZE Beachmere Smooth Ride HASH ELDER Chermside FIGJAM SONG MISTRESS Aspley To & From Flower Your committee are located throughout the northern suburbs. We are more than happy to take delivery of, or collect, the plates and cutlery if the holder can t make it to the next run. RUN NO: 2073 DATE: 16/3/2018 HARE: Cheesecake & Chunda LOCATION: Lawnton 2018 AGPU. They came in great anticipation as the time had come for the 2018 BNH3 AGPU. A large group of hashers assembled at The Spots new abode just four houses down the road from their old house in Lawton. At 6.30pm, the Hare s Cheesecake and Chunda arrived backfrom setting the run, gave some quick instructions and the pack was off. It was time to get the run started so the herd could get back for all of the AGPU festivities. After about 30 minutes everyone made it back safe and sound. Stand in Hash Cash To & From called the run count and the GM then called the circle and summoned the hares to face the music. The Run Report as told by Flasher: Flasher was asked to give the run report as he turned up a little bit late and had to take off to catch up. He said that he thought that the run was remarkably shorter and he was right, as there was beer and fun to be had by

2 all so it had to be a short run tonight. He said that some of the false trails were a bit obvious but that was ok as he didn t have to do them. But otherwise it was a good effort. Score: 1/10 The Walk Report as told by Overproof: Overproof was still injured so he did the walk and said that it was a lovely evening out there on the streets of Lawnton and it was a great walk, well-marked and all good. Score: 5/10 The Letterbox Walk Report as told by Generic: Generic thought that it was fantastic as they went past 15 letterboxes, turned around and went past another 15 letterboxes. Bloody over achiever s. Score: 1/1,000,000 The Security Report: No security report was given. Total score of 7/1,000,020 Sing a song of six check, a pocket full of flower. HASH RELIGIOUS ARTICLES Large Appendage: Shreddar had this and awarded it to Ten Fingers. Shreddar said that he pulled the big prick out of his bag and Ten Fingers eyes lit up like a Xmas tree so he clearly wanted to get it. It isn t long and it isn t thick. Small Appendage: This was missing in action with Thunderbox. Scrubber Shirt: Ten Fingers had this and tried to give it to Kimasutra, but because he didn t actually know her Hash name, it was reversed and he was made to keep it. He s stupid, he s stupid, he s really fucking dumb. Brush (Vagina): Ned had this and gave it to Ten Fingers for great observation. Ten Fingers arrived at Hash tonight and upon seeing the 430 esky s full of grog made the comment looks like we are going to run out of grog tonight. Him, him, fuck him. Paddle (Penis Sizer): Simpleton had this and was asked by the GM to give it to Ten Fingers as he already had three of the other weekly awards and another one wouldn t hurt. Simpleton was in agreeance to this and Ten Fingers was called out once again. This will now go down in BNH3 history as the time that one Hasher held 4 out of the 5 weekly awards at the one time. He s stupid, he s stupid, he s really fucking dumb. Milestone Runs: - Nil Returnees: - Nil Visitors: - Nil. CHARGES: The GM charged Kimasutra for not wearing her own Hash shirt. She borrowed one from Flower. The only problem was the shirt that she borrowed had Flower s name on it so not only did Kimasutra not have her own Hash shirt, she was trying to impersonate Flower. Take it in your tits Mrs Murphy.

3 FIGJAM had a charge for Overproof. He said that you hear some interesting things while on the run. Heart Starter was saying that she gave Overproof a massage and all she gave him was pain. When Overproof was asked if he was in a bit of pain, he said yes. FIGJAM asked him if he had heard of Chrissy Amphlett and he said yeah, it s a fine line between pleasure and pain referring to one of her songs. FIGJAM asked him what she was talking about in that song, to which the Hasher in question said probably anal sex. Come on out for a drink Overproof. He wanks his crank in the morning. FIGJAM then tried to charge Chunda and Cheesecake for OH&S issues on the run but this was reverse charged and FIGJAM was iced for his sins. Before he was given a song though, we had a short intermission while he was sitting on the ice so everyone could get another drink. Has anybody seen his cock. Scrubber then had a charge for Pickpocket. At first, he said that he didn t want to go for a run, but then while out on the run he was walking and got the shits when someone called him a fat ass walker. He keeps his whole world in his hand. Kuntree Girl had a charge for Tail for starting out on an AGPU run and forgetting her drink. Sacrilege. She s a Harriette and she s alright. The GM called Beat-a-Root and Calendar Girl out to thank them for doing the catering for the AGPU as they had put on a feast that was fit for a King. Here s to sister Hashers, sister Hashers. The GM then kept Calendar Girl out to advise the circle the Calendar Girl was leaving us to take up a job in central Qld. This was met with cheers of joy and calls of piss of then. The GM said that she has been a good addition to BNH3 and that she won t be missed, but that s another story. Good luck with your future endeavours Calendar Girl. G-Spot was then called out to sit on the ice and Wet Spot to sit on his lap. This was to thank them for letting us use their house and shed to hold the AGPU. He s got a skeeter on his peeter, whack it off. HASH NAME: Scrubber Scrubber was named this because his blonde mohawk made him look like a toilet brush so Scrubber was the obvious choice. Abbo then had his awards and the Dozer awards and many down downs were given, some of which are below. Shiggy Dog Award Most Shiggy on the run Overproof Helpful Hasher Doing the most jobs at once (GM, Hash Trash, Hash Flash, Hash Booze, Hare and Bottle Opener) Pounda (Beat-a-Root helped out as well) Harvey Hussey Most Hash Runs in one year Flower Harry Hussey Female most runs set Heart Starter, Mammary Stick and Sherbet (they will have to share the trophy and have it for four months each) Harry Hasher Male most runs set Overproof and Pith Head (they can have it for six months each) Bar Bra Award Best/worst joke Boxy and Cousin It (as neither were hear it was given to Ten Fingers) Bribery Award Best Bribed (scored) Hash run Flower (99.99%) 100,005 out of 100,010 N.A.H.A. (Not A Hare s Asshole) Worst scored run FIGJAM ( %) -25 out of 40,000,000

4 The old committee was then given a thank you drink. Thank you for a wonderful year. Pounda, Chunda, Cheesecake, Boxy, FIGJAM, Kuntree Girl, Smooth Ride, Flower, Semen Stains and To & From. The new committee was then welcomed in and are as follows: GM Flower Religious Adviser Cheesecake Assistant RA/ Trail Master Chunda Hash Cash/Hash Elder To & From Hare Raiser Smooth Ride Grog Mistress Tail Hash Haberdashery Kuntree Girl Assistant Hash Haberdashery/Hash Flash Beat-a-Root Hash Trash/Hash Nerd - Pounda ANNOUNCEMENTS: The BNH3 40 th will be coming up some time in 2019 and seen as how we would like to start planning for this as soon as possible we are calling for volunteers to form a sub-committee to help organise this. Please see Pounda if you would like to be on this sub-committee and have a massive input into this event. Hash Relay coming up in August. Please see Heart Starter for details. We have heaps of Hash Haber dash going cheap. Please see Kuntree Girl or Beat-a-Root. Noosa Hash 2000 th run 13 th & 14 th April at Lake McDonald. BNH3 Website has now been fixed and we are now able to put the Hash Trash on there. All photos have now been removed and if you want a copy please see Pounda. NEXT WEEKS S RUN #2074 Abbo 4 Boronia Court, Albany Creek PHOTOS

5 The Evidence Ten Fingers with 4 out of 5 of the weekly awards. Flower with the Bribery Award To & From with his walking stick for 1500 runs. Overproof and the Shiggy Dog

6 Kuntree Girl and Beat-a-Root. Shreddar, Scrubber, Pounda and Pickpocket. Our hosts The Spots Shreddar, Ten Fingers and Pounda. Will the chair hold. FIGJAM with the N.A.H.A. The Ice

7 The outgoing committee of BNH3 for 2017/18 The new committee of BNH3 for 2018/19

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