Dec Funny Christmas Stories --

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1 Dec 2016 Director s Ramblins Activities 2 Lake Ozark & Missouri Roads 3-7 Leaf Peeping, Big Cats, + Iguanas 8-18 Chapter Education 19 By the Book 20 District Director s Report 21 The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?" "Something for my mother, please." said the young lady. "Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you,'' smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? " Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!" A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." -- Funny Christmas Stories -- After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. "That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. "That s still quite a bit," Tom groused. Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle. Tom grew agitated, "What I mean," he said, "is I'd like to see something real cheap. So the clerk handed him a mirror. A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?" Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!" A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

2 Chapter Director Dan & Angie Drennon Assistant Chapter Directors Carl Herron Treasurer Sue Zagorski Chapter Education Tom Harrison Newsletter/Webmaster Valerie Hewett Ride Coordinator Skip Klink Membership Enhancement Don Hewett Sunshine Person Mona Harrison Quarter Master Richard Penuell Meet to Eat Jean Penuel Couple of the Year Dec 2016 December Dec (TBD) - Chapter E Christmas Party Jean Penuell Dec (TBD) District Christmas Party Dec (TBD) Salvation Army Bell Ringers - Mike and Sue Zagorski If you are in need of polo shirts, CUSTOM EMBROIDERY are embroidered with GWRRA, Chapter E, Eagles Wings stiches, "Threading Lightly" is the place to go. It is owned by Rick and Carolyn Racine. The business is located at 8 Alcantara Lane, Hot Springs Village AR Their phone number is (501) and is ricaracine@att.net. This business has been our supplier of custom embroidery wear for some time. All Prices include sales tax and is subject to change next year. Polo Shirts-BG6510 and BG7510 Safety Orange S-XL 30 2X 31 3X 33 Long Sleeve Tees-2400 No Pocket S-XL 24 2X 25 3X 26 Long Sleeve Tees-Pocketed S-XL 26 2X 27 3X 28 Heavy Sweatshirt-Hoodie S-XL 34 2X 38 Lighty Weight Sweatshirt Crew Nexk or 562M S-XL 28 2X 30 3X 30 Light Weight Sweatshirt-Hoodie S-XL 31 2X 34 3X 35 Light Weight Sweatshirt-Zipper Hoodie S-XL 36 2X 39 3X 40

3 Stephanie, Mike, Don and I (Valerie) took a 7 day trip to Missouri in Oct Ozarks, Osage Beach, Mammoth Spring, and Mountain View. We traveled to the We stayed in Osage Village and took a boat tour around Lake Ozark, which is a beautiful lake with rock cliffs and mini mansions on it.

4 Don with his mouth full They wouldn t let Valerie drive

5 We visited a Distillery in Lake of the Ozarks where they made Moonshine. The mash or raw ingredients is 60% corn, 20% wheat, 20% Barley malt. The Ozark Moonshine is made with Missouri grown corn, mashed and distilled using traditional methods. They hand craft the moonshine in small batches where no sugar is used in all the grain mash. Ozark Moonshine is distilled in a column still to achieve a flavor profile which is smooth and sweet with a light corn flavor and aroma. It is a small family-owned business making Handcrafted spirits in small batches. For more info Go to

6 Did you ever wonder why Missouri has all these strange highway names, like AB, and YX. They seem a bit strange, don t you think?? Well, here is what Wikipedia says. These highway names are state supplemental routes. These roads were built to be within 2 miles of farm houses, schools, churches, cemeteries, and farm to store roads, and state parks. They are maintained by the Missouri DOT. As we were driving around the Missouri roads, I noticed a lot of silk worms in the trees. The nests could be seen on almost every tree we passed. Silk Worms or Webworms are constructed in the trees. Their larvae feed on these trees and they grow. The Chinese mulberry silkworm has threads that the Chinese learned how to unravel from the caterpillars cocoons. They learned how to weave these threads into beautiful silk pieces..

7 These roads are certainly calmer than Rt 7 and The Village roads. PS-They put a DOUBLE YELLOW LINE ON FRESNO ON THE SOUTH SIDE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

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9 They are building another dock for the boats

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12 We stopped at The Big Cats at Turpentine Village in Berryville. Several of us had been there before, but we just love this place.

13 The Big Cats get restless right before they eat. They know it is feeding time. These cats are brothers & sisters, but they fight when dinner is near!

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17 Don & I went to Jamaica for a vacation. During our trip to Jamaica, we visited a plantation I am not afraid of animals, as long as they are TAME. So, they let me hold a spider, turtle, snake, & iguana. But, not the alligator.

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19 Road Rash Proper Riding Gear All motorcyclist need to be prepared to deal with Road Rash if they crash. Road rash refers to damage sustained by a rider when they lose control of their motorcycle and slide down a highway grinding away at skin and bones. All Level 4 riders in the GWRRA Levels program and officers are required to always wear proper riding gear every time they ride. In the Rider Education Booklet, you will find the exact requirement: Wear proper riding apparel at all times while riding. Proper riding apparel, a.k.a.: proper riding gear will include, at a minimum, a DOT (FMVSS 218)/Snell (M2010) /ECE approved helmet (approved standard applicable to the local area), eye protection, long sleeved jacket/shirt (no "riding pull on/off sleeves"), long legged sturdy pants, full fingered gloves and over the ankle footwear. Some have coined the acronym ATGATT standing for All the Gear, All the Time. All other GWRRA members are strongly encouraged to wear safety equipment but it is not mandatory. Those who chose to omit one or more items of riding gear are choosing to take avoidable risk with them taking full responsibility for their decision. I am hoping that a frank discussion of this topic will change your mind. In fact, I encourage people to go beyond the minimum requirement stated in the Rider Education Booklet. I would change that we should wear long sleeve jacket/shirt to read a leather or armored jacket. If you start collecting road rash at 70 mile per hour, how long would a long sleeve cotton shirt last?? Leather can take a lot of abuse but is very hot in the summer. Mesh, armor jackets such as Joe Rocket brand allow excellent air flow and have a zip in water proof liner that is good for rain and cutting the effects of wind in the winter. The same holds true for armor pants with one added benefit. During the hottest part of the summer, you can wear shorts under the armor and get the benefit of superior protection while at the same time riding cooler. I would also ask that you consider wearing a full face helmet. Here are some road rash examples that might change your mind. Art Freewalt and his wife were riding through the Hot Springs Village at night and struck a deer. Both Art and hit wife were knocked unconscious and slide on the asphalt. Art s wife was wearing a full coverage helmet which was heavily damaged by the grinding action of the asphalt. Had she not been wearing it, there is a good chance she would have ground off facial bones and needed considerable plastic surgery. Note: This accident convinced me to buy a full face helmet. A helmet less rider in Wilmington, Delaware had a car pull out in front of him and the ensuing collision ripped his entire face off from the upper lip to the top of his forehead and folding the detached face back over his hair. Surgeons were able to reattach the face but he will need numerous plastic surgeries and will never be the same again. Best safe than sorry!!! Have a safe and joyous Holiday season!!

20 By: Jack Wagner Deputy Director Region H Trainer Those of you who have been following my 'By the Book' articles may recognize this as a reprint from prior years. As we come into the holiday party season, I believe it bears repeating, as a reminder of why the GWRRA alcohol policy exists. I wish you and your families the happiest of holidays. Lets all be safe so we can enjoy more good times together next year! Jack The Time for Parties December brings us together for many different parties celebrating the various holidays or watching our favorite teams in their endeavor to be the best. Many of the social events or gift exchanges done at this time of year have the tradition of involving alcohol. While it has been discussed at length many times, I thought it best to remind everyone of the GWRRA policy on alcohol. Page D-15 of the Officer Handbook states: While GWRRA makes no attempt to legislate policy as it relates to an individual s freedom, we must give strong consideration to potential liability exposure of the Officer group. For this reason, GWRRA CANNOT: 1) sell alcoholic beverages; 2) profit from the sale of alcoholic beverages; 3) distribute as an award or prize any alcoholic beverages at a GWRRA event; 4) encourage its use by advertising its availability or causing it to be available at GWRRA events. The first few words are important to remember WE ARE NOT ATTEMPTING TO BE THE ALCOHOL POLICE. However, that said, the next few words from the Officer Handbook are of utmost importance THERE ARE POTEN- TIAL LIABILITY ISSUES. What does this mean? Most areas have what are known as social host liability laws which impart liability to those responsible for serving alcohol. Those held liable, in either criminal or civil actions, provided alcohol to someone who is subsequently involved in a vehicle crash or other activity which caused death, injury or even property damage. Businesses that serve alcohol go to great extent to train their personnel in preventing patrons from being over served. Most often the social host involved in legal actions is a private individual who served alcohol in their home, where they are considered to be the host. However, when the event is a company or organization affair, the company or organization can be held liable meaning GWRRA and its officers could be held responsible. Think about that. If you're the Chapter Director, you could be held liable even though the event wasn't in your home. Yes, GWRRA has liability insurance which covers the Association and its officers. But would it cover you if you are violating written Association policy? So what are some things to avoid when planning your event? For openers, if the party is at an individual's home, do not serve alcohol, period. If the event is being conducted at a facility that serves alcohol, do not set up a cash bar in the room your event is being held in, or in the 'pre-function' gathering area, as that could place GWRRA in a position of liability. And do not advertise that a cash bar is being made available on any of your flyers or party announcements regardless of where the cash bar may be even if it is the normal location of the bar in the facility. Lastly, do not allow the facility to make any mention of alcohol availability in their contract for the event, as that too, could place GWRRA and its officers in a position of liability. Liability issues aside the main reason for the policy, as I see it, is we don't want to be the cause of losing any of our GWRRA family as a result of providing alcohol. So let me leave you with this. If you're having a Chapter event at your home or other location that doesn't commercially serve alcohol, follow the policy and don't make it available. If you're having your event at a location that does serve alcohol as part of their normal business, and choose to consume, please do it responsibly. I want to see all of our family together in the coming year! The more you know, the better it gets! Jack

21 Hello! Vicki and I hope everybody is doing well. The weather is finally getting in the holyday sprit. This month has gone by so fast we didn t get a chance to do much. We have been getting ready for the holydays and doing some deer hunting. The district Christmas Party is on December 3 rd. It is at Corky s Bar-B-Q in North Little Rock. The address is 2947 Lakewood Village Dr. The web address is You can click on the link and look at the menu. We will try to start at 2:00 and go from there. We will play dirty Santa. The suggested cost of the gift is now $20. The guys will buy for the guys and the Ladies will buy for the Ladies. We will give out the traveler s award also. We look forward to seeing y all there. Sondra Jones called me and asked if we could help with Christmas for the Kids. It was one of the things Melissa Toomer did each year. They (Sunrise Honda) is doing this to honor Melissa and in helping the kids. It will be on the 10 th of December. She said we will meet at Sunrise Honda around 11am and then ride to a place on Race St in Searcy. If you can make it they will sure appreciated it. We have the dates set for our District Rally next year. It will be on July 14 th and 15 th. It will be at the Inn of the Ozark in Eureka Springs. They have a nice Convention Center at the hotel so when you get at the hotel you do not have to go anywhere else if you don t want to. They have a good restaurant at the hotel (Myrtle Mays). They have a big swimming pool and other things to do. The trolley that goes downtown stops there, so if you decide to go downtown you can take the trolley so you don t have to look for a parking spot. They have told us that we can have light parade that will take us thru the downtown area. So please mark your calendars and please plan to attend. Ride Safe and Ride Often Vicki and Richard Austin District Directors