BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

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1 BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS Website: HASH TRASH It is a truth universally acknowledged that the hash trash never lies. What you are about to read either has happened, is happening now, or will happen at some time in the future. Or nearly, anyway. GRAND MISTRESS Aspley ASSISTANT RA Petrie Flower RELIGIOUS ADVISER Kallangur Chunda HASH HABERDASH Beachmere Cheesecake Kuntry Girl HASH CASH Chermside To From & HASH TRASH/NERD Murrumba Downs Pounda HARE RAISER Sandgate Smooth Ride HASH ELDER Chermside To & From HASH BOOZE Indooroopilly Tail SONG MISTRESS Aspley Flower HASH FLASH Murrumba Downs Beat-a- Root Your committee are located throughout the northern suburbs. We are more than happy to take delivery of, or collect, the plates and cutlery if the holder can t make it to the next run. RUN NO: 2098 DATE: 3/9/2018 HARE: Pounda and Beat-a-Root LOCATION: Murrumba Downs The Post Father s Day Run. A good sized group of hashers gathered at Pounda and Beat-a-Root s house in Murrumba Downs for what was promised to be a nice run/stroll around Murrumba Downs. Truth be known, they all came for Beat-a-Root s excellent cooking skills and they weren t disapointed either. At 6.30pm Pounda called for quiet and sent everyone out to the street to give tonights run instructions and then we were off to harrass the good folk of Murrumba Downs. Seen as there have been no murders in Murrumba Downs for a coouple of months, everyone was at ease as they made their way around what was now a pleasant and peaceful suburb. Eventually everyone made it back to the bucket safe and sound, even the 3 stooges (Killer, Ten Fingers and Rabbi) who were sent off on a short cut by the Hare, but didn t listen to the instructions correctly and eneded up doing 2km

2 more than they had to. More on that later. Hash Cash To & From called the run count and then the GM Flower called the Hare Pounda and his undoubtable better half Beat-a-Root forward to face the music. The Run Report as told by Abbo: Abbo said that it was shit. He said that it was well marked, lots of arrows, lots of regroups and one false trail down a hill which he wasn t impressed about (managed to get all the runners on it though) but he was going to take 5 points of because he had been promised that the local dog was going to run again tonight but he didn t show up. Score: 5/40 The Walk Report as told by Heart Starter: Heart Starter said that it was pretty flat, it was short and it was great. Score: 9/1,000 Letterbox Walk Report as told by Killer: Killer said that they did more than the bloody letterbox walk as they may have taken a wrong turn because they didn t listen to the instructions properly. Score: No score given The Security Report as told by Like A Virgin: Like A Virgin said that is was as secure as can be. Score: 7/100 Total score of 21/1,140 Little arrows that we follow. HASH RELIGIOUS ARTICLES Large Appendage: This was missing in action with Yakkity Yak. Small Appendage: This was missing in action with Kimasutra. Scrubber Shirt: Heart Starter had this and gave it to Like A Virgin because when Heart Starter arrived at Hash tonight, Like A Virgin said jeez I like your shirt. Be careful what you say at Hash Like A Virgin. She s a Harriette and she s alright. Brush (Vagina): This was missing in action with Yakkity Yak. Spit the Dummy Award: This was missing in action with Simpleton. Paddle (Penis Sizer): Chunda had this and gave it to Shreddar for turning up late. The story about how he was late was a pearler. He missed the off ramp on the highway to Dohles Rocks Rd because he might have been on the phone at the time, so he went up to the next exit at Anzac Ave, got off the highway and then back on the other side to come back, but then found out the hard way that there is no off ramp for Dohles Rocks Rd when you are coming from the north. He then had to go back over the river and up to the next exit at Strathpine Rd to get off the highway to get back on the other side again so that he could have another crack at the exit that he missed the first time. See what happens when you don t visit South Cairns as often as you should Shreddar. He s stupid, he s stupid.

3 Milestone Runs: - Nil Returnees: - Generic and Rabbi Visitors/Virgins: - Nil Birthdays: Nil CHARGES: Pounda had a charge for Killer, Rabbi and Ten Fingers for not listening properly to instructions from the Hare about the shortcut and causing themselves to walk an extra 2kms. How dumb are these Hashers in the circle. Pounda then had a charge for Chunda for calling him a poofter on the run. Just because someone got a photo of Chunda hanging from the roof with his groin very close to Pounda s face, doesn t mean that Pounda is a poofter. Has anybody seen his cock, his big Rhode Is red. FIGJAM then had a charge for Pounda for having a false trail down a hill but not taking them far enough down the hill so that they could perve on the young lady in her underwear working out in her gym with the big glass window. Pounda then accused FIGJAM for loitering precariously around Murrumba Downs of a night time because Pounda was totally unaware of this so-called local exhibition. He wanks his crank in the morning. Hash Name: Generic Just because she is good value and she is a nurse, so as per the medicines that are available, she got Generic. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Thirsty Hash now has a registration form for their 1000 th run at Bribie Is on 26 th - 28th Oct 18. See website for more details. Red Dress Run 26 th November more details to follow. Tour-de-Bribie 4 th November at Bribie Island. More details to follow. BNH3 Golf Day 4 th November at Virginia Golf Club. See Wheelbarrow for more details. BNH3 40 th birthday celebrations Friday 7-Sunday 9 June Bribie Island Retreat and Recreation Centre (cabins and camping) more details to follow at a later date. BNH3 winter vests are now selling for the low price of only $10 There are L, XL and XXL sizes left. Please see Beat-a-Root if you would like one of these and if they are too big then Beat-a-Root can run them in for you so they fit. BNH3 Website - All photos have now been removed and if you want a copy please see Pounda. NEXT WEEKS S RUN #2099 Boxy James Drysdale Reserve, Pine Hills Drive, Bunya. PHOTOS

4 The Evidence Our Hare s Pounda and Beat-a-Root. Like A Virgin liked the Scrubber shirt so much that she got to take it home. How many attempts does it take to get the right exit off the highway Shreddar. Our returnees Generic and Rabbi.

5 You might want to listen to the instructions more closely next time gentleman. Chunda falsely accusing Pounda of his sexuality. EXIBIT A THE REASON POUNDA DRINKS

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