2016 Study Abroad Essay Contest Caylin McCallick Trim, Ireland October 24, 2016 My Study Abroad Dream Sitting in the airport at LAX waiting to take off on my million hour flight, obsessively charging my phone and my two external phone chargers, I thought theatrically about the journey ahead of me. Galway Girl and the soundtrack from Brave played in the back of my head as I pondered the people I would meet, the food I would eat, and the places I would see. Going back to Ireland was a return home of sorts. Several generations ago, my great, great grandmother left Ireland and came to New York by herself seeking the American Dream. I thought of myself-- albeit dramatically--as rounding off her journey, returning to Ireland alone and just a little bit afraid. Like I said, I was being a bit dramatic. Like my grandmother, I was also following a dream, a Study Abroad Dream. I had listened to stories of my sister s amazing study abroad at Oxford, and I had seen countless pictures from my fellow Belles trips abroad. My own roommate had spent two separate semesters abroad. By the time my flight finally boarded last June, I was more than ready to experience my Study Abroad Dream and jump into the unknown. Let s rewind four years to my senior year of high school when I attended Meet Me at the Avenue. I was intrigued by the study abroad options available to nursing majors--which I was intending to be at the time. The thought of going to Uganda to learn with the Sisters was inspiring. I left campus that day knowing that I had found my home, and I became determined to realize my study abroad aspirations.
McCallick 2 Fast forward to my second semester of college. I was sitting in my first nursing chemistry class, and my professor began her first lecture with, You might kill someone if you don t get convert units correctly. That was the end of my nursing career. By the end of my first year, I had switched to an intended Communicative Sciences and Disorders Major. After taking my intermediate spanish class, I had moved my sights to studying abroad in Spain. I had been accepted into the program before I realized that it wasn t financially plausible. My sophomore year was devoted to my participation in Army ROTC. Convinced that I was meant to devote my skills to the military, I was sure that I could participate in a study abroad trip through the Army during my contracted time. However a year passed, and I discerned that I was not meant to be an officer. I left the program with a heavy and unsure heart. Entering my junior year, I was officially a CSD major and Psychology minor. Studying abroad for an entire semester no longer seemed like an option. Still the desire to travel and wander was calling me. By my senior year, I knew that I wanted to go somewhere off the beaten path. I knew that I had to study abroad. So I saved money and worked three jobs to pay for whatever program may stumble into my path. I applied for a summer program in East Africa, and I was denied. Sometime before learning about this verdict, I attended an information session on the new Jamaica travel writing program. It was affordable, exotic, and new. Alas, it was not meant to be. The day I found out I had received the CWIL study abroad grant was the day the Jamaica trip was canceled due to the outbreak of the Zika virus that was plaguing the area. Graciously, CWIL informed me that the grant was transferable to any other summer program. That is how I decided to attend the archaeology program in Trim, Ireland. Finally feeling like perhaps I knew what I was doing, I began to prepare for the trip. During my preparation, just about everything that could go wrong for travel and then en route to a
McCallick 3 destination did go wrong. My passport was delayed in processing because my picture was too pale. Then I came down with a really bad virus shortly before my departure. The day before I left, my phone charger was stolen. When I actually managed to get on my way passport in hand, healthy, and carrying a new $20 charger, my flight was delayed from Los Angeles to Toronto prompting me to spend the entire 15 minutes I was on Canadian soil sprinting desperately through the airport trying to make my flight to London. My luggage was not routed to my connecting flight from London to Dublin causing me to miss my plane. My international phone plan didn t work, and I missed meeting the group of Saint Mary s students in Dublin to travel to Trim. After a very desperate, snotty, teary breakdown in Heathrow, I finally landed in Dublin, trying to hold my head high and move forward. While in Trim, I kept trying to make the study abroad memories that everyone talked about. I wanted to accidentally stumble into a coffee shop once frequented by a famous author. I wanted to find travel partners and compare stories of our native countries. I wanted to take pictures of beautiful landscapes while sipping coffee on the balcony of a quaint, old building. I wanted to be forever changed by what I experienced on this trip. I did have several moments of awe and wonder while excavating at the site and while traveling through Dublin, and I did return home with a renewed sense of the importance of tea in everyday life. But my study abroad was not the ideal, dramatic dream I thought it would be. There were several times when I had to reach out to my parents for help. There were several more times when I found myself crying because I was lost and confused and tired and alone. My study abroad experience forced me to question everything that I had thought I knew about myself. Before leaving, I felt that I was surely an individual who could handle traveling alone. I thought I could handle bus drivers harshly reprimanding me or hostels not existing to
McCallick 4 their standard, but I couldn t. I struggled to regroup after every let down, and I had to do a lot of reflection about my strong emotional reactions to these events. What I discovered is this: I am still growing and learning with each passing day. My study abroad experience was representative of my time here at Saint Mary s. I came to college feeling like I knew everything there was to know. I knew for sure that I wanted to be a nursing major. I knew for sure that I wanted to go to Uganda, to Spain, to join ROTC, and to go to East Africa. These were all things I aspired to dearly, and ferociously. What I really needed was to be knocked down, several times, to be pushed in the right direction. Just like my Saint Mary s experience, my study abroad scrubbed me raw and took away pretense, and painfully highlighted what I have yet to learn. I didn t leave Ireland feeling like my journey was complete. I left feeling like I had so much more to improve on. I cannot say that the reality of my Study Abroad dream was actually something that I wanted, but it was perhaps something that I desperately needed. My very last day onsite at the Black Friary Monastery excavation, I found a tiny piece of gorgeous history. I was helping to excavate an area known to be the former site of a window. Sadly, the beautiful stained glass windows once present in the monastery had been pillaged long ago. Today, only fragments of the expensive glass still exist. As my partner and I were carefully clearing away layers of sand, my partner found a large piece of stained glass. As she left to report the find, I sorted through the sand underneath to see if there were any remaining shards. I found a tiny piece of broken glass--too tiny to be reported as a significant find. As I picked it up and held it up to the light, I marveled at the color and the reality that I was holding something that had been buried for hundreds of years. Shortly thereafter, it crumbled in my hands.
McCallick 5 Like this day at the dig, my study abroad experience revealed tiny pieces of wonder and awe. I had glimpses into the shining purpose that Saint Mary s has polished. There is still dirt and sand left to be cleared, but there beneath the surface exists all that I could be. I will continue to push my comfort zone and expose myself to experiences that thoroughly challenge me, delving deeper into my purpose.