Give the story attribution Baby born on expressway Use last names unless confusion between Mary and Jessica or Mary and John Tell the story more or less in chronological order. Don t use everything the Sheriff s Department says, then everything Lee says, and then every thing Perez says. Bounce between your sources to make a good narrative story. Is husband s name necessary? Don t run proper nouns together: incorrect: A woman gave birth on the Southside Expressway Tuesday. correct: A woman gave birth on the Southside Expressway on Tuesday. correct: A woman gave birth Tuesday on the Southside Expressway Avoid terms you feel you have to explain: trapped in the No. 2 lane (the second lane from the left) in the heavy traffic. better: trapped in the second lane from the left in the heavy traffic. trapped adjacent to the fast lane. trapped near the fast lane. Don t start with time element: On Tuesday afternoon a baby was born on the expressway. correct: A baby was born on the expressway Tuesday afternoon. 1
Word usage: Bound means going or headed toward. It s redundant to say: They were headed southbound on the expressway. correct: They were headed south on the expressway. They were southbound on the expressway. Put more than one thought in your sentences: Minutes later, Robbins gave birth to a baby girl, and paramedics arrived soon afterwards. The paramedics used the northbound lanes left shoulder to reach Robbins. better: Minutes later, Robbins gave birth to a baby girl, and paramedics using the northbound lanes left shoulder arrived soon afterwards. Put more than one thought in your sentences: It was the rush hour and traffic was at a dead stop. There was no way to change lanes. better: The rush-hour hour traffic was at a dead stop, and they couldn t change lanes. A baby was born Tuesday afternoon on the Southside Expressway after an accident blocked traffic during the afternoon rush hour. A woman gave birth to a baby girl on the expressway Tuesday afternoon after a truck in front of them jackknifed, blocking all eastbound traffic. The back of a UPS truck on the Southside Expressway during rush hour was probably the last place Mary Robbins thought she would be giving birth to her first child. While frustrated motorists were huffing and puffing at being trapped in gridlocked traffic Tuesday afternoon, a 25-year-old woman was breathing Lamaze-style as she gave birth to a baby ygirl on the Southside Expressway. 2
A UPS driver delivered more than just packages Tuesday; he also delivered a baby girl on the expressway during rush-hour traffic. A UPS driver on the Southside Expressway was on his last delivery of the day Tuesday when the woman in the car next to him asked for assistance in a special delivery a baby girl. Jessica Robbins couldn t wait to enter world Tuesday afternoon. Her very pregnant mom, Mary Robbins, was en route to Southside Community Hospital when a jack-knifed k truck stopped all traffic, and Robbins, who was trapped in the rush-hour congestion, gave birth in the back of a UPS truck. Jessica Robbins got her first taste of life in the fast lane, literally. However, the fast lane wasn t fast enough for baby or mom Tuesday. Jessica was born on the Southside Expressway. A UPS driver helped make a special delivery Tuesday evening on the Southside Expressway. The package was a baby girl. A United Service Parcel driver delivered an unusual package Tuesday afternoon on the Southside Expressway. Aj jack-knifed kk truck was not the only emergency on the Southside Expressway on Tuesday afternoon. UPS driver helps deliver baby on expressway [telling story from Perez s perspective] John Perez has delivered many packages in his 15 years with United Parcel Service, but Tuesday s delivery is one he won t soon forget. 3
Perez helped deliver a baby on the Southside Expressway after an accident stopped all traffic and the child s mom-to-be couldn t get to the hospital, a Sheriff s Department spokesman said*. *attribution Sgt. Marvin Jones said a truck had jack-knifed on the Southside Expressway, blocking all southbound lanes. Perez, along with everyone else in the rush-hour traffic, was stuck waiting for the truck to be moved. That s when Isabel Lee, who was in the car next to his truck, asked for help. She said her sister was in labor, Perez said,** and that she was afraid they wouldn t make it to the hospital. **attribution at first logical pause in quote Perez said he radioed his dispatcher to call paramedics and then unfolded a blanket in the back of his truck. He and Lee helped Lee s sister, Mary Robbins, walk to the van and lie down. With Perez and Lee assisting, Robbins gave birth to a baby girl a few minutes later. Paramedics, driving on the northbound lanes left shoulder, arrived soon afterwards and rushed the mother and baby to Southside Community Hospital. [telling story from Lee s perspective] Lee, 22, said Robbins went into labor at her home at 4 p.m. and called her sister to drive her to the hospital. The 15-mile trip usually takes 20 minutes. She was driving in the second lane from the left when the traffic came to a halt. Lee said they were still trapped in the No. 2 lane at 5:45 when she got out of her car and asked the UPS driver for help. [back to Perez] Perez said he wasn t on totally unfamiliar ground. He had attended Lamaze birthing classes and had assisted in the birth of his two children. But, he added, assisting in this birth was something special. 4
I ve been a driver for 20 years, he said, and before today the biggest emergency I encountered was a lady with a flat tire. This is a day I ll never forget. Lee said the baby, named Jessica, is the first child for Robbins and her husband, John. A hospital spokeswoman said late Tuesday night that both the 25-year-old mother and her baby were resting and in good health. 5