The Naked Man on the Couch 0. Richard Davis, Jr.
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1 0 The Naked Man on the Couch Richard Davis, Jr.
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3 2 NOTICE Copyright: This play is fully protected under the Copyright Laws of the United States of America, Canada, and all other countries of the Universal Copyright Convention. The laws are specific regarding the piracy of copyrighted materials. Sharing the material with other organizations or persons is prohibited. Unlawful use of a playwrightʹs work deprives the creator of his or her rightful income. Cast Copies: Performance cast copies are required for each actor, director, stage manager, lighting and sound crew leader. Changes to Script: Plays must be performed as written. Any alterations, additions, or deletions to the text must be approved. Permission to Film: Rights to produce, film, or record, in whole or in part, in any medium or in any language, by any group amateur or professional, are fully reserved. Royalty: Royalties are due when you perform the play for any audience, paying or non paying, professional or amateur. This includes readings, cuttings, scenes, and excerpts. The royalty for amateur productions of this show is posted online. It is payable two weeks prior to your production. Contact us for professional rates or other questions. Royalty fees are subject to change. Insert the following paragraph in your programs: Performed with special permission from ArtAge Publications Senior Theatre Resource Center at , Copyright 2015
4 3 THE NAKED MAN ON THE COUCH by Richard Davis, Jr. CAST MILDRED: Mildred is an attractive older lady, smart, practical, and clearly the leader of the household of three middle age to older ladies. HARRIET: Another older lady. Though she is a bit of a free spirit, she relies on Mildred to make the hard decisions. SOPHIE: About the same age as the other two, sheʹs a bit more flighty. BRAD: A young man recovering from a romantic catastrophe. In a moment of drunkenness, he has broken into the ladies house and passed out on their sofa. Place The living room of a modest house. Time The present. Early on a Saturday morning. Production Note The set calls for a kitchen area which can be as simple or as elaborate as director chooses, though there should be at least a counter with a coffee pot. Setting: A sitting room with a couch and chair Down Left and the suggestion of a kitchen Up Right. An electric coffee maker with a full carafe occupies a kitchen counter. A door to the rest of the house is Up Left. At Rise: Brad is sprawled on the couch asleep. He lies under a comforter. HIS clothes are neatly stacked beside the couch. He lies under a comforter. An empty whiskey bottle is on the floor in front of the couch. Mildred enters from Up Left. She wears bright pajamas and carries a weekend size suitcase. Humming a happy tune, she crosses to the kitchen, passing the couch without noticing Brad. Checking the coffee, she calls out.)
5 4 MILDRED: Coffee s on. BRAD: (muttering) Gaaa gigh jinn. MILDRED: (calling Up Left) What? (Brad waves his hands as if trying to shush Mildred, but she still doesn t see him.) MILDRED: Harriett! Call Margaret. BRAD: Gaaa gigh jinn. MILDRED: Don t know what you re saying. No matter. It s your turn to cook. HARRIET: (off) My day to cook is Friday. MILDRED: This is Friday. HARRIET: Friday brunch. (She enters from Up Left pushing a huge piece of rolling luggage. She leaves her luggage next to Mildredʹs suitcase and crosses to the kitchen.) MILDRED: We re not going to be here for brunch. HARRIET: You re the one who said we had to get on the road. MILDRED: I just thought you might HARRIET: Please, Mildred. Just cook breakfast. MILDRED: I will not. We ll have to eat on the road. Where s Sophie? HARRIET: Road s fine with me. Sophie s coming. MILDRED: Coffee? HARRIET: Do we have saccharin? MILDRED: It s Sweet and Low, dear. (points to a container on the counter) And it s where it s always been. Did you call Margaret? (calling) Sophieee!
6 5 BRAD: Gaaa gigh jinn. HARRIET: What? MILDRED: What? HARRIET: You mumbled. MILDRED: I said, Did you call Margaret? Sophieee! SOPHIE: (off) Coming, Millie. (She enters with way too much luggage. Crossing to where the other luggage is stacked, she looks at Brad on couch.) Oh, my. (She stares at Brad, then crosses to the couch, pulls back a corner of the comforter, and peeks in.) Oh, my! (over her shoulder) Did you all know there s a naked man lying on our couch? HARRIET: (ignoring her) We should get so lucky. MILDRED: (likewise) Coffee s ready. SOPHIE: No, really. A naked man. A cute one. MILDRED: You were going to take your Zanex after breakfast, Sophie. SOPHIE: I haven t taken my Zanex. Thereʹs a naked man on our couch. A cute one. HARRIET: Pour her a cup of coffee, Millie. Black. Sophie s been drinking. SOPHIE: I have not been drinking, Harriet. There s a HARRIET: (crossing to Sophie) You re just nervous about Margaret s driving, Sophie, but the Zanex will solve that (She sees Brad) Oh, my! SOPHIE: Exactly. HARRIET: Um Mildred, there is a man lying on our couch. A cute one. And he s under your comforter. MILDRED: (crossing to others) Oh, for the love of Pete, I (stops short) There s a man on our couch. I just finished that comforter.
7 6 SOPHIE/HARRIET: Exactly. MILDRED/HARRIET: (unison) How do you know he s naked? SOPHIE: His clothes. (She points to the folded stack.) MILDRED/HARRIET: Oh. SOPHIE: Plus I peeked. MILDRED: Sophie! You did not! SOPHIE: I most certainly did! It s been a long time since I ve seen a MILDRED: Okay, Okay! SOPHIE: Naked man. HARRIET: Is he cute all over? MILDRED: Harriet! He could be an escaped murderer! SOPHIE: Cute s not the word that came to mind MILDRED: I m calling the police. HARRIET: What if he wakes up? SOPHIE: I ll get the gun. Um where is it, Harriet? HARRIET: Mildred hid it after your little sleepwalking episode. FreeView Warning: This is copyrighted material Now buy the entire show such fun!
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