PARTIE 1 Cabane avec pancarte : BEWARE : OGRE. Musique : «Hey now». Shrek prend un bain de boue. Les villageois arrivent. Garde 1 : Be careful! Shrek : I'll squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Garde 2 : Back, back. I warn you. Shrek Il hurle. Tous les villageois crient ensemble, longtemps. Shrek : This is the part where you run away. And stay out! Ils sortent. On voit une pancarte : WANTED Fairy Tale Creatures. On voit le chef des gardes derrière une table, Pinocchio et l'âne qui font la queue devant la pancarte. Pinocchio : I'm not a puppet! I'm a real boy. L'âne : I can talk. I'm a talking donkey. Les gardes essaient de l'attraper. Il s'enfuit et se réfugie derrière Shrek. Garde 1 : By the order of Lord Farquaad, I place you both under arrest. Tous les gardes qui étaient derrière lui se sont enfuis... Shrek effraie le dernier garde restant. L âne : Incredible! Shrek : Why are you following me? L âne : I like you. What's your name? Shrek : Shrek. L âne : I like that. Can I stay with you, please? Shrek : Of course. L âne : Really? Shrek : NO!! L âne : Please, please... Shrek : Okay, okay! But I live in a swamp. I'm a terrifying ogre. L âne : Where do I sleep? Shrek : Outside! Tous les personnages imaginaires arrivent en faisant du bruit : les cochons, le bonhomme en pain d épices, un ou plusieurs nains et Pinocchio. Shrek : What are you doing in my swamp? Un cochon : We were forced to come here by Lord Farquaad. Shrek : You are coming with me. Don't sing! L âne : Can I whistle? Shrek : NO!! Changement de décor : Lord Farquaad arrive au palais. Il a capturé le bonhomme en pain d épices et le torture. Lord Farquaad : Where are the others? Le bonhomme : I won't tell you! Eat me if you want. Les gardes amènent le miroir magique. 1
Garde 1 : Here you are, Lord! Le bonhomme : Don't tell him anything! Lord Farquaad : Mirror on the wall, how is my kingdom? Le miroir : Well, you're not a king... Lord F : What??? Le miroir : All you have to do is marry a princess. Lord F : Go on. Le miroir : First princess : Cinderella. Second one : Snow White. Number three is : Princess Fiona. Garde 1 + 2 : Number one, number two, number three!! Garde 2 : Pick number three my Lord! Lord F : Number three. She's perfect. Le miroir : So my Lord, you've chosen Princess Fiona. Let me tell you, the trouble with her, after sunset... Lord F : Captain, assemble your finest men, we're going to have a turnament. Les gardes entourent Lord Farquaad, après avoir mis le bonhomme en pain d épices à la poubelle. Lord F : Brave knights! You are the best! Who will go and rescue Princess Fiona? Un garde montre un panneau : Applause. Ils aperçoivent alors Shrek. Lord F : It's hideous! Shrek : Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. Lord F : Knights : new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion. Chanson : «I don't give a dam about my reputation». Bagarre entre gardes, Shrek et l'âne. Garde 1 + 2 : No, no, not me! Le garde 2 montre le panneau : Applause. Shrek : Oh yeah! Thank you! Lord F : You are the champion. I'll make you a deal : go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back. Shrek : All right. Il part avec l'âne. Chanson : «I'm on my way from misery to happiness». PARTIE 2 Ils arrivent au château gardé par la dragonne. Ils sont sur le pont. Shrek : Don't be afraid donkey, I'm right here beside you. Don't look down! L âne : Don't look down, don't look down... I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. Cool! Shrek l'a fait reculer sur le pont. Bruit de dragon. Shrek : Donkey, two things : shut... up! OK? La dragonne apparaît, crache des flammes, poursuit l'âne. Shrek lui attrape la queue et est projeté dans la chambre de la princesse. L âne : Oh, what large teeth you have. And what a smile! Oh, you're a girl dragon? La dragonne : What a lovely thing! Come here with me. 2
Ils sortent. On voit la princesse allongée. Shrek la secoue. Il la traîne. Shrek : Are you Princess Fiona? Fiona : Yes, I'm waiting for a knight to rescue me. Shrek : Let's go! Fiona : Wait. This is our first meeting. Shrek : Sorry lady. There's no time. Fiona : Wait! We have to savour this moment. Can I at least know the name of my cbampion? Shrek : Shrek. Fiona : What kind of knight are you? Shrek : One of a kind. Shrek réussit à mettre un collier et une chaîne autour du cou de la dragonne et à s'enfuir avec l'âne et la princesse. La dragonne : Oh no, lovely donkey, don't leave me alone. Stay with me... Shrek : Hi Princess! Fiona : It talks? Shrek : Oh yes! La dragonne les suit et s'entortille dans sa chaîne. Elle pleure. La dragonne : Come back! Don't leave! Fiona : You did it! You're amazing, you're wonderful. You may remove your helmet, sir knight. Shrek : Uh no. Fiona : Why not? How will you kiss me? Shrek : What? That wasn't in the job description. Fiona : It's our destiny! Shrek : You think Shrek is your true love? Fiona : Well, yes. Shrek et l âne rient longtemps. What is so funny? Shrek : I'm not your type, OK? Fiona : Of course you are! You are my rescuer. Now take it off! Shrek : No! Fiona : Now! Shrek : Okay, easy. As you command. Fiona : You're an ogre. Shrek : Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming? Fiona : Well, yes actually. Shrek : Lord Farquaad is the one who wants to marry you. Fiona : But, I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his pet! PARTIE 3 Ils marchent. L âne : What a beautiful sunset! Fiona : Sunset? I need to find somewhere to camp now! Elle se cache dans une grotte. Fiona : Good night! Le lendemain matin, elle siffle avec un oiseau. Ils repartent. Chanson : «My beloved monster and me». Shrek : Here is Duloc. Fiona : Can't we stop for dinner? Ils s'assoient, se regardent langoureusement. 3
L âne : Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset! Fiona : Sunset? Oh no, it's late. Shrek : What? Fiona : Good night. L âne : She must be afraid of the dark. Shrek : You know : she's a princess... and I'm an ogre... Il s'éloigne, tout triste. L'âne cherche la princesse. L âne : Princess, where are you? AAAAAA Shrek! Shrek! Help!! Fiona (en ogresse) : No, it's okay. Donkey, it's me, I'm the princess. L âne : Oh my god! You ate the princess! Fiona : It is me! When the sun goes down, I become an ogress. Only a true love's first kiss can break the spell. L âne : Why don't you tell Shrek? Fiona : No, promise you won't tell him! L âne : All right, I won't but you should. Lord Farquaad arrive avec ses gardes. Lord F : Princess Fiona! Shrek : Here she is. Now I want my swamp. Lord F : Take it and go before I change my mind. Beautiful Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Fiona : Lord Farquaad, I accept. PARTIE 4 Ils partent sur le cheval de Lord Farquaad. L âne : Shrek, you're letting her get away? There's something about her you don't know. Shrek : Leave me alone. Me and my swamp. Go away. L âne : But I thought... Shrek : You know what? You thought wrong. Il sort. Chanson : «Allelujah». Shrek est tout seul tout triste à table, la princesse aussi. La dragonne arrive pour retrouver l'âne. Shrek : Listen donkey, I'm sorry. Friends? L âne : Friends. Shrek : So, what did Fiona say about me? L âne : Go and ask her yourself. Shrek : The wedding! We'll never get on time. La dragonne les emmène. La dragonne : You two, come on my back. Les gardes s'enfuient à son approche. Shrek interrompt le mariage en criant : «I object!» au moment où la princesse allait embrasser Lord Farquaad. Shrek : You can't marry him! He's not your true love! Lord F : Oh this is precious! The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! Fiona : Shrek, is it true? Shrek : Yes. Elle se transforme en ogresse. Shrek : Well, that explains a lot. Lord F : Ugh, it's disgusting. Guards, get them both. 4
Bagarre avec les gardes, l'âne et la dragonne arrivent. Shrek : Fiona, hum... I love you. Fiona : Really? Shrek : Really, really. Fiona : I love you too. Chanson : «I thought love was only true in fairy tales. I'm a believer». Shrek et Fiona partent dans un carosse. Le petit bonhomme : God bless us, everyone! La dragonne récupère le bouquet lancé par Fiona et l'offre à l'âne. Tout le monde danse sur la chanson finale et chante : I m a believer. 5