Non compus mentis ANGLO COMMERCIAL Nov Issue 2014 S REPORT Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our codless pond Shawlgate Putin practices bull fighting with his shawl prior to hiting on China s first lady. Meanwhile, Cameron practices strangling himself S Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK and the Netherlands from anonymous news sources.
ANGLO COMMERCIAL HEADS UP Here is a quick heads up so you can reserve the following dates. S dinner - Friday November 21st at 19:15hrs at Amsterdam 1e Klas restaurant Amsterdam Central Station. Please do come along and bring your spouse or partner. Reservations via Allan (luncheon@cads-amsterdam.org). NBCC-PAiE dinner Tuesday November 25th at 18:30hrs at the IGC in Amsterdam. Guest of honour will be the UK ambassador. Reservations via http:// nbcc.co.uk/application/dinner-member, and mention S in the remarks section. Christmas Gala Ball Saturday 29th November at 19:30hrs at the Voorschoten van der Valk hotel. 10 S members have already signed up, and we have the opportunity to fill a second table if we reserve quickly. So if you want to dress up (long gowns and DJs) and dine and dance the night away at this grand Ball to open the Christmas season, reply to me at mike.waters@cads-amsterdam.org to reserve a ticket. Burn s Night - Sat 17 Jan 2015. 6:45 pm - 11:55 pm 10 tickets have been allocated to S at Britsoc member s price. Hurry, tickets sell really fast: 25.00 Members. 35.00 Non-Members. Buy here: www.britsocshop.nl
ANGLO COMMERCIAL IT S JUST NOT CRICKET Private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK and the Netherlands from anonymous news sources. Airpocalypse Before and after Beijing stopped smoking UK News UK SINKS WITHOUT TRACE We are not sure what a sink without a trace looks like, but after suffering the worst flooding since the dikes broke in Atlantis, the UK simply disappeared. It s as if the UK never existed. So we asked ourselves: What would the world be like if the UK never existed? After a great deal of thought we have concluded that India and Africa would have different rail systems. There would be no Cliff Richard or Fish and Chips or Marmite. There would be no McDonald s and the world would be speaking Flemish. Worst of all there would be no S. Dutch News AMSTERDAM SINK HOLE SINKS S WATERING HOLE We have a sinking feeling this month s S lunch will have to be moved on Friday November 21st to Amsterdam 1e Klas restaurant at the Amsterdam Central Station. Lunch will be at 19:15hrs instead of 1:00pm. Geologists told S that while the sink hole doesn t appear to be getting wider, it is getting deeper. The S Emergency Team evacuated the Wyndham hotel lobby, and may even evacuate the bar if it gets any deeper. News of the Pond Ness Monster Sighted Amazing new out of focus, distant images captured on video clear up decades of mystery. Proving that the Ness Monster is an out of focus, distant object of indifinable shape and form. We re very excited to finally prove it really exists with this really blurred image. BEIJING -- World leaders have descended on the Chinese capital for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation meeting. Eager to show off their stunning architecture, the city stopped smoking. The city has been scrambling to put on its best face for the titans of Pacific Rim politics. Factories in the surrounding regions have halted operations, construction projects have ground to a standstill, outdoor barbecue restaurants have been shuttered, Beijing workers have been given a six-day holiday, and half of all private cars are banned from the roads each day, among other restrictions. Massive in scope and scale, the experiment in environmental engineering brought several days of blue skies last week and briefly gave the world a glimpse of what Beijing can be: a gorgeous world-class city steeped in tradition and stunning architecture. Dutch News S Reporter arrested after shouting Hi Sis at his two sisters as they arrived at Schiphol airport. People scattered, ducked and dived when they thought I shouted ISIS, exclaimed our reporter. The reporter was later reunited with his sisters, sister in law and brother for a gloriously sunny weekend in Amsterdam, while the UK sank further into its flooded abyss.
ANGLO COMMERCIAL Corner Nov 2014 OCIET S Y Chairman s Last month was a busy one for S. After Simon Banham s GREAT presentation to us last month on the subject of inward investment from The Netherlands to the UK fact-packed and most informative we retired to the Apollo bar to finalise the planning of our S borrel. The following Wednesday, this took place at the 1e Klas restaurant at Amsterdam Centraal, together with the Amsterdam Business Lunch brigade (now renamed the Amsterdam Business Borrel). With Craig Welsh s able support, the event attracted a total of ~35 people from both organisations, and a number of S brought along potential new members to introduce. We have had 5 applications for membership since the event, and plan to repeat it each 3 or 4 months. There is another opportunity to visit 1e Klas, whether you were at the borrel or not. This month S is holding a dinner in the private dining room at the 1e Klas restaurant. Based on our past experience the food and ambience will be great, and you are particualrly encouraged to bring your wife or partner along to enjoy the ambience of this beautifully architected building. Amongst many other famous visitors, this room was where Kiing Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima enjoyed their wedding tea before departing on honeymoon. S has also been busy on the charity front. MIKE WATERS On the charity front S has also been busy. Last month we raised 100 Euros for the Royal British Legion by selling poppies at our lunch (thanks Louise ). We also donated 1,000 Euros to the Dutch Veteraneninstituut in Doorn to support their work with injured former service personnel. Finally, we donated 500 Euros to the Stichting de Brik, formed by Michiel Kasteleijn with the specific purpose of raising funds for a statue outside the new air force museum in Soesterberg. We committed this money 18 months ago, and the statue is now complete. A fitting tribute in time for Remembrance Day in the UK.
ANGLO COMMERCIAL This space reserved for vertising OCIET S Y