Adam's Deadline by Robert M. Heske (Revised: 3/20/06) Robert M. Heske Heywell Film Scripts 9 Floral Street Shrewsbury, MA 01545 (508) 842-1298 r_heske@msn.com www.bobheske.com
FADE IN: EXT. BUNGALOW - MORNING A simple house with a wood mail box: A. Mann. A newspaper waits on the front stoop. It begins to RAINS as, inside, a phone RINGS. INT. BUNGALOW - SAME CURSES behind a closed door as the phone RINGS and RINGS. BY PHONE MAN (O.S.) For chrissakes! A framed photo of a happy couple. She feeds him an apple. RING-RING... then a FLUSH as the MACHINE picks up. ANSWERING MACHINE You ve reached Adam Mann. Leave a message... BEEP! A sultry WOMAN S VOICE (EVE) comes on: EVE (ON MACHINE) Adam, it s Eve. I m sorry but this relationship isn t going to work. MANN rushes out of the bathroom, pulling up his pants. Eve! He gets to the phone. Reaches out... EVE (ON MACHINE) It s over. Good bye.... and his pants fall down. Adam stands, a broken Mann, in his boxers. She dumped me? (picks up photo) But we had such good times. The phone RINGS. He drops the picture. Picks up.
2. (full of hope) Eve? A SHARP VOICE snaps him to attention. It s a woman all right; but a hell-raiser you wouldn t want to be caught in bed with! HELLRAISER (OVER PHONE) Eve? Are you drunk? It s MORNING! Lucifer? HELLRAISER (OVER PHONE) Lucille FORD, dammit! CUT TO: INT. LUCY FORD S OFFICE - SAME, old as Hell with platinum blond hair and sunburnt skin, smokes a Tiperillo with her hooves up on the desk. Behind her is a sign: FALLEN ANGELS PUBLISHING. I hired you for that re-write of-- INTERCUT AND... Apocalypse New. Gotcha. He wiggles back into his pants. Zips. (cackles) Catchy title. I get to tell MY side of the story. How s it comin? I m struggling with the end. He picks up the photo. SIGHS - it s not broken! (OVER PHONE) That s the POINT. Man struggles. Forever. The End. It s due today. Today? He drops the photo. SMASH! His face drops too.
3. (OVER PHONE) Yes, there s no tomorrow. Get it to me by three. And don t let me down! Adam stares into the DEAD DIAL TONE. Man hater. He picks up the photo. Sulks at the cracked glass. I m doomed. A TAP at the front door. Adam goes over to inspect. EXT. BUNGALOW - CONTINUOUS Adam opens the door. Sees a WET NEWSPAPER on the stoop. INSERT HEADLINE: Storm Coming! Adam takes the soggy paper inside. No kidding. The door SLAMS shut. A GARTER SNAKE slithers past. ZAP! Lightning strikes it dead. INT. BUNGALOW, S OFFICE - ONE MINUTE LATER Adam settles in at his computer. He stares at the THICK MANUSCRIPT on his desk. CRACKS his knuckles. A great day to write. He powers up and is greeted by Eve on his screen saver. (losing it) I miss you so much! The doorbell RINGS. He springs - hopeful - from his chair. You came back!
4. I/E. FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS Adam looks out at two Jehovah s Witnesses - a Nigerian () and a Frenchman () - caught in the rain. My name is Dubai and my friend is Dubyah... Du-BWAH. What-EVER! (to Adam) We re messengers of God. May we come in? (closing door) I don t have time. Dubois sticks his foot in the way. Ye, for Revelation is upon us! I meant I have a deadline. Exactly! (reads Bible, dramatic) Wail for the day of the Lord is near; it will come like destruction from the Almighty-- Dubyah, why do you always scare them? It s Du-BWAH! Dubai takes the Bible and turns to Adam apologetically. Pardon my friend. He s a pessimist. (overly dramatic) A message of HOPE from the Book of Mathew: (reading) Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you--
5. SLAM! Dubai and Dubois stare dumbly at the closed door. Darn. I moved my foot. We shoulda scared him! INT. BUNGALOW, OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Adam at his desk typing away. He s making great progress. There... a work of art! He hits the ENTER key. ON COMPUTER A LUCIOUS BABE appears and talks dirty to him AT DESK LUCIOUS BABE Oh Adam. Welcome to badgirls.com. You re member profile is so... ooooooh, BIG! Adam sites erect, pleased with himself. Thanks. ON COMPUTER Lucious Babe morphs into Lucy Ford. Stop jerking off! Wha... huh... whoa! He falls from his chair. Climbs back up to the computer. Lucille Ford? How d you...? He sees a WEB CAM atop his computer. Did you put that there?
6. Don t question me. I ll question YOU. Why aren t you writing? I am. I mean, it s almost done. Liar-liar, pants on fire! OK, I ll come clean. My girlfriend just dumped me. My head is in a fog. Any chance for an extension? HA! Like an ice cube in HELL! (defeated) All right. I ll get it done today. LUCY FORD Damn right. Or ELSE. The computer screen turns static. Adam taps the monitor. Lucious Babe is back: 50 pounds heavier, licking a pork chop. NOT-SO-LUCIOUS BABE Let s... mmmm... get together! (shielding eyes) Oh God... let s... NOT! (quickly logs off) I need to concentrate. The DOORBELL interrupts again. Good lord. What now? I/E. FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS Dubai and Dubois hide behind fake beards. Outside, the rain has stopped but LOCUSTS are everywhere. My name is Armand and my associate is Geddon. Armand and Geddon? What are you selling?
7. (swatting bugs) We sell nothing. We give away FREE magazines. What s the catch? Nothing. Scout s Honor! Adam looks down at the free magazine which is really a religious pamphlet. INSERT PAMPHLET Under the title Redemption Times a salesman-like Jesus points and shouts in a cartoon balloon: I want you! OK, so long as it s free. He reaches out right as a swarm of locust attack Dubois fake beard. Dubois rips the beard off and stomps it to the ground. Aiiiee... be gone damn locusts! Hey, you re not magazine salesmen. (rips off Dubai s beard) You re those Jehovah Witnesses! OUCH! We confess. We deceived you. That s not very Christian. Well, we re not really Christian-- But close enough. So, you want to try a free pamphlet? (takes pamphlet) Sure. Dubai and Dubois beam. Adam swats a locust on his shirt and hands the pamphlet with the squashed bug right back. Now buzz off.