The Sydney Hash House Harriers

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1 The Sydney Hash House Harriers Smiley s Posh Chronicle Run Date: September 7 th Run No Run No 2514: Grape & Colonel Sanders Spud had put the hard word on these 2 master hares to set a run at short notice so Grape and Colonel Sanders jumped at the honour of serving the Posh once again Not content with that, Grape was keen to demonstrate his culninary skills and show the hash how to prepare a high quality dinner at an economic price. Combing Sydney for the most tender meat, Grape & Colonel Sanders had put together a menu of Hungarian Goulash (Grape style) and strawberries a la Grande Marnier. As the pack was arriving it was noticed that the car pack was nearly full had the hares fucked up or were we are the wrong location- fortunately the car park cleared as the yummy mothers picked up their 14 year olds and the car park opened like the proverbial red sea! Darwin arrived with his personal assistant, Captain Knockers who was now in the rarified air of the posh. Wanker was back after some weeks away and Major Disaster had just returned from the Cayman Islands after making sure the tax haven was still being an effective place to register his numerous companies. Grape addressed the attentive pack from his pulpit promising a superb run and great tucker- also a bonus was a few bottles of Grape s best red wine. Go forth my children & enjoy!

2 The pack was off up the stairs and behind the playing field which were once the domain of the old bowls members of past years. The leader of Benny, Plunger Scotsman and Your Choice were down the back stairs and into the park proper where Life Line books had their centre and Changi, a late starter, had decided to put caution to the wind and descended a steep embankment, like a gazelle, to catch up with the pack. The walkers comprising of 4X, Just Nigel and Ayatollah split as they joined the runners again on Polding and Bent Street to enter the Paddy Pallin bushland reserve on Highfield Road which after some steps down led up to Provincial Road.{ The reserve was named after the famous Australian who emigrated to Australia in 1926 & who started making his light-weight camping gear on his household sewing machine in his nearby Lindfield home} Maximus Minimus had brought his mate from the Gold Coast Hash, Pile Driver, who had not seen this many hills since Adam as the trail went up Cook Road then with a falsey on right into Redbank Street. Meanwhile White Shit had arrived about 10 min after the pack had left and was making steady progress to catch up with the pack passing Hanoi Bill with his walking stick in tow. S Bends and Pee Dub were both looking for the trail along Redbank as it disappeared for a fleeting moment only to emerge after a hole in the fence following Box Kite s superior capitalist socialist reconnaissance skills. The new territory was none other than the prestigious Killara Golf Course where The Arbitrator was once a low handicapper in his heyday. Cinders thought he had a break on the pack having found he trail well before the however the unsuspecting Cinders was actually following golf divots,not arrows, and nearly ran into one of the fairway bunkers until he realized the difference! After a meandering route through KGC, the trail was heading towards Glen Eagles Avenue as Saltpetre and Scotsman led the trial across Lady Game Drive to Charles Street with a check at Fiddens Wharf Road. Your Choice, Kitty Litter with torches in had were dumbfounded until a secret Tony Abbott supporter, Goonshow ( also an admirer of the literary masterpiece, Battle Lines ) found the home trail as it headed back up Highfield Road then through Princes Park oval and back to the

3 bucket at the West Lindfield Sport & Recreation Club. Meanwhile Grape and Colonel Sanders had taken over the kitchen and were looking like chefs personified as the Goulash odours were wafting into the bar area. Spud thought he had done a fantastic job keeping his flock of hashmen together; however Hanoi Bill was missing! Nautilus like a flash was off into the darkness retracing his steps not aware that Hanoi Bill had thought he was at his normal golfing haunt at Royal Turramurra and was checking out the magnificent fairways and bunkers of KGC. Finally he snapped out of his trance and finally found trial getting back to the bucket some 30 minutes later much to the relief of Spud whose proud record was still intact. With the hares red wine on the tables, the pack were treated to several servings of Grape Hungarian Goulash and delicious icing coated strawberries soaked in Grand Marnier great tucker boys with President Pee Dub leading from the front by helping the hares at the coal face Hanoi showing Colonel Sanders his 1 Wood style Meanwhile Darwin s personal assistant Captain Knockers had taken some liberties on the unsuspecting Darwin with an amorous peck Pile driver, Brock & Choice bosom buddies The Downs Downs were given to the hares, The Grape Ape and Colonel Sanders for an excellent winter run and nosh ( thanks boys!), to Just Nigel for yet another new hash handle and to Captain Knockers for her chauffeur duties with Darwin Don.

4 Good night from S Bends!! Your Hash Journey brought to you by Your Choice & Flying Scotsman Distance Elevation gain Calories burnt 7.54km 132m 376C Temp 17.2C

5 Runs: ******* ********* ******** Next Week s Run No 2515 Hares: Goonshow & Benny the Swede Date: September 14 th Where: Reservoir Park on Brady Street. Park below Bridgepoint Shopping Centre On On: Mosman Hotel Time:6.30 pm BRING YOUR TORCHES they help and increase your safety If you don t bring one you will have the wrath of Spud ***** NOTE: Hash Safety- take your mobile phone with you on runs!!!!! and have the committee s mobile numbers in your directory- the defibrillator will be manned at the bucket being prepared can save a life! It is nearly now truly winter runs so torches are standard issue for these runs Events for 2015 The SH3 AGM- Monday September 21 st Ararat Cultural Centre, Grattan Crescent Frenchs Forest pay your subs + AGM now Monthly Walkers September 20 th Heathcote to Waterfall : see Wrappa Kayaking Saturday September 12 th :see Assistant Admiral Khyber Bali Interhash May Register now - go to Gold Coast H3 Plan ahead!!: 2000 th Run and Bike Ride looks like a full program: April 24 th - May : see

6 Gold Rush Nash Hash: February 24 th -26 th 2017 in Ballarat see Eventshttp://goldrushnashhash.com.au/#event An organising committee with vast experience in Nash Hash, Interhash & Organising Hash Eventshttp://goldrushnashhash.com.au/#event Mother Hash s 80 th Anniversary September 2018, KL, Malaysia Hashmen in the News Moishe is off on another solo adventure walking the Camino in Spain as is E Shit and Krud. Captain Bligh is in Chamonix, France together with Lord Lexus and Chasity Belt walking the French Alps SBends sailing off Vanuatu giving the Onsec a break! Duckweave joins a long list of hashmen getting a new knee to extend their hashing career he is relaxing at the Mater with a bevy of young nurses answering to his every whim. Wombat has sold his Benz and gone upmarket with his new gogomobile. White Shit was looking for excuses to finish his committee duties early- however going to the extent of fracturing a vertebrae in a car accident was going beyond the pail! however with the benefit of a brace he will still be coming to Monday nights!! Changi had noted the media profiles of Ayatollah, Kitty Litter, LCL and Goonshow and was observed by the Chronicle reporter as hobnobbing in the last edition of Australian Story about Wendy Whitely s magic garden in Lavender Bay. Remember this photo of his magic garden maybe he has been providing consulting advice already? Prince is still in Europe checking out some of the hashing practices as brought to you by Scotsman from Krakow.

7 History Corner September 7 th Sep Elizabeth I, Queen of England, was born in Greenwich. She led her country during the exploration of the New World and war with Spain which destroyed the Spanish Armada. Elizabeth Tudor (d.1603), the daughter of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, reigned as Queen of England from 1558 to She went bald at age 29 due to smallpox Elizabeth Tudor is considered by many to be the greatest monarch in English history. When she became queen in 1558, she was twenty-five years old, a survivor of scandal and danger, and considered illegitimate by most Europeans. She inherited a bankrupt nation, torn by religious discord, a weakened pawn between the great powers of France and Spain. She was only the third queen to rule England in her own right; the other two examples, her cousin Lady Jane Grey and half-sister Mary I, were disastrous. Even her supporters believed her position dangerous and uncertain. Her only hope, they counseled, was to marry quickly and lean upon her husband for support. But Elizabeth had other ideas 1914 Taxi s help save Paris Sep 7, In the Battle of Marne French Gen. Gallieni commandeered some 600 hundred Paris taxicabs to deliver overnight 6,000 men of the 3rd army to reinforce the 6th Army at the Battle of the Marne, which allowed the French army to hold.

8 1927 Pioneer in Television Sep 7, American television pioneer Philo T. Farnsworth (21) succeeded in transmitting an image through purely electronic means by using a device called an image dissector. When Philo T. Farnsworth was 13, he envisioned a contraption that would receive an image transmitted from a remote location the television. Farnsworth submitted a patent in January 1927, when he was 19, and began building and testing his invention that summer. He used an "image dissector" (the first television camera tube) to convert the image into a current, and an "image oscillite" (picture tube) to receive it. On this day his tests bore fruit. When the simple image of a straight line was placed between the image dissector and a carbon arc lamp, it showed up clearly on the receiver in another room. His first tele-electronic image was transmitted on a glass slide in his SF lab at 202 Green St. The New York World s Fair showcased the television in April 1939, and soon afterward, the first televisions went on sale to the public Cartoon Corner

9 Joke Corner Special Travel Package for Businessmen An Airline introduced a special package for Business men. Buy your ticket get your wife's ticket free! After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking how the trip was. 72% of them gave the same reply..."what trip?" New SIM to Surprise Her Husband The husband responds in a low tone: Woman buys a new Sim Card. Puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband who is seated on the couch in the living room. She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number: "Hello Darling." "Let me call you back later Honey, my wife is in the kitchen The Perfect Answer!! I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex," screamed my wife. "I'm really disappointed." "You can hardly blame me," I answered. "It's not like I was getting any from you. "Well that's your fault," she replied. You never told me you were willing to pay for it *My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she isn't interested in Snooker & Darts. Xxx

10 Nichon & Derriere Corner Why Kim Kardashian s pregnancy selfie would turn Titian on quote by Goonshow Even these should get Druid going! On On Smiley

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