HASH TRASH. Motto: Truth is optional. Date: 16 December 17 Run No. 1558

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1 BRB Run FRB HASH TRASH Motto: Truth is optional Circle Date: 16 December 17 Run No MENS SANA IN CORPORE SANO ( Physically knackered, mentally deficient ) UTTERLY MISMANAGED BY: MISMANAGEMENT COMMITTEE PHONE Grand Master Bob BoBo Thomas Joint-Master Aruna Ain t Ze Bush Gunawardena Joint-Mattress Susanne Comatose van Lieshout RA Danny Premature Ejaculation McCamlie Hash Web Nerd Adrienne Virginal Discharge Grove Hash Cash Nick Little Boy Edwards Hash Moosic Nicholas Dirty Choirboy Ramsden Hash Horn Vacant Hash Sniff Brooks Tait Hash Flash Elena Sister Belinda Meteleva Hash Piss Midgie Raza Gaha Hasha Ye Aung Hash Piss Wench Thida Cat Walker Tin Lwin-Jones Hasherdabberer José Broobs Vahl Trail Master Ohn Tin Gigolo Joe Oo Strictly Distribution to Members Only MEMBERS PARTICIPATE ENTIRELY AT THEIR OWN MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND ANY OTHER RISK. YH 3 meets at 14:45 every Saturday at main entrance to Yangon University on University Avenue, near Hledan Junction, and leaves for the run site at 15:00 prompt. HASH FEES: Expat: 5000 Kyat Expat Horrors (Under 13): 2500 Kyat Nationals: 4000 Kyat National Horrors (Under 13): 2000 Kyat RECEDING HARELINE: RUN NO. DATE WHAT IS IT ABOUT? HARE / CO-HARE: Dec '17 Father Christmas Run Ain t Ze Bush and Comatose Dec '17 A Christmas Carol Run Maria Phallus Dec '17 The Last Fling for 2017 Blah Blah Jan '18 New Year's Resolution Hash Ain t Ze Bush and Comatose Jan '18 The Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Hash Fun Sized Kit Kat and Wunderbra Jan '18 Miracles Do Happen Hash Square Root Jan '18 Volunteer Feb '18 Sri Lanka Independence Day Run Ain t Ze Bush and Micro Pussy

2 YH 3 HASH TRASH Run No Date: 16 th December 2017 Page 2 of 6 Up to two Hares run for free For each Hash, up to two Hares/Rabbits will be allowed to run/walk for free. This is meant to encourage Hashers to volunteer to set Hashes and is recognition of the amount of work involved. Tales from the Trail Hash Re-Run No (Father Xmas Run) Hare: Oliver Hoos Rabbit: Ain t Ze Bush Venue: Inya Road, Kamaryut Township Runners: 43 Weather: fine and dandy Time/Distance: 1 h 08 min / 10.1 km inclusive of one Beer Stop according to El Puerco Someone scribbled in the signing-in book, Golden Valley Run Boring!!! 8.3 km run, finish at 16:30, sunny and 30. One supposes that there is not much more to say about running around Golden Valley, which has probably been the venue for several hundred Hashes set by several hundred lazy Hares. The approximate route of Run 1558 (as recorded by El Puerco) [Scale: 1:20,000 or 5 cm 1 km]

3 YH 3 HASH TRASH Run No Date: 16 th December 2017 Page 3 of 6 The Circle The notes in the registration book revealed: Virgins, Michael Wood, Olaf Manges and Phil Patton were given a Down Down Returnees, Virginal Discharge, Otis & Etta Greenlee were noted. Visitors, Ben Coleman, Troy Coleman, Aoife Gibbons and Cho Thandar Thein were welcomed. It was the Last Hash of Dirty Choirboy (66 Runs commencing on 24 May 2014) and Mobile Orgasm (9 Runs since 3 June 2017). They will be sorely missed. Le Pimp finally celebrated his 100 th Run on his 102 nd. He actually racked up his ton on Run 1554 but it was never previously acknowledged. One hopes that the Hares were suitably rewarded for their efforts, no matter how lacking in imagination the run might have been. Finally the notes in the signing-in book cryptically record the single word, Santa, This was presumably the ruse that allowed Le Pimp to dress up in bright red clothing and to persuade lots of girls, who should have known better, to sit on his knee. And no, that was not a gun in his pocket! The On On On In the garden at the finish point? Any little candid secrets you d like to share with the members? Let OnSec know, he s very discreet.

4 YH 3 HASH TRASH Run No Date: 16 th December 2017 Page 4 of 6 Future Regional Hash Events: Cambodia Nash Hash Phnom Penh,Cambodia 9 to11 Mar 2018 Interhash 2018 Nadi, Fiji 25 to 27 May th Birthday of Mother Hash Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 14 to 16 Sep 2018 Mekong Indochina Hash XX Nha Trang, Vietnam 21 to 23 Sep 2018 Raza Gaha Hasha I ve got loadsa-money! The 1558 th Run in Pictures The start Hash mailing list If you would like to be placed on the Hash mailing list for occasional updates of Hash and various other social activities in Yangon, please send an to: A whiskey for me and a few pints for the reindeer! Restart after Beer Stop

5 YH 3 HASH TRASH Run No Date: 16 th December 2017 Page 5 of 6 Is that a gun in Santa s pocket? NEGST FULL MOON HASH 20 th Birthday Run Friday, 26 th January 2018 by Gigolo Joe and Six Dirty Tongues Venue: Utopia Tower, Kandawgyi Park Time: 6:45 PM for a 7:00 PM start Cost: K 15,000 or thereabouts Hash Humour

6 YH 3 HASH TRASH Run No Date: 16 th December 2017 Page 6 of 6 This story was originally part of a banquet speech given by Don Harper Mills, past president of the American Academy of Forensic Sciences. Here is the story: On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide because of this. Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended. That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Opus. When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. There was an exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son, one Ronald Opus, had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten- story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window. The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide. How mathematicians tell the time